iCarly Bridesmaids are VicTORIous
by bluecinderella4
Summary: Maid of Honor Sam fears that one of the bridesmaids is trying to replace her as Carly's best friend. Based off of the hit movie Bridesmaids. Rated T for a reason, sorry for the crappy title.
1. Carly's Big News

**I grow bored so one time I watched this fanmade trailer for **_**Bridesmaids **_**on YouTube using **_**iCarly**_** & **_**Victorious**_** characters and I liked it. I also saw the movie **_**Bridesmaids**_** and liked it (a lot) thus inspiration struck. I wanted to do this after seeing the fanmade trailer and the movie trailers, but I'd have to actually see the movie before I do. **

**Guess what, I saw the movie.**

**So yeah, this is going to be like the movie. Of course, to keep consistent with **_**iCarly & Victorious**_** (because I frickin' hate continuity errors) I will make some adjustments if necessary. I'll give better details (like plot) at the end of this intro.**

**Let me also say that the characters are aged; Late 20's, early 30's maybe, the adults would also be aged so they're most likely in their late 40's, early 50's. I also would like to point out I own nothing.**

* * *

><p>Sam Puckett awoke to find herself passed out in her roommate's little brother's room. When she looked up, said brother was standing there. "'Sup, Gup."<p>

"Happy Birthday," Guppy Gibson replied back.

"Dude, you're in your twenties; can you say anything else besides 'Happy Birthday'?" Guppy shrugged and watched Sam exit his room.

"Hey Sam," Guppy's older brother Gibby met up with her. "The first of the month is tomorrow and-"

"Yeah, Gibby, I know. I'll have my half of the rent first thing tomorrow."

"You smell like sweat and shame. Sneak in through the wrong window again?" She nodded. "You have a key, use it."

"You know when I'm tired I can't properly put the key into the hole."

Gibby chuckled. "That's what she said."

Sam groaned as she left Getting into her run-down car- which she referred to as the Crapmobile on occasion- Sam drove to her best friend's apartment.

Carly Shay was already waiting outside. "Hey," she got into the Crapmobile, "usual breakfast?"

"You bet."

"So," Carly began the conversation, "how was work yesterday?"

"Suckish. Pointless too. You know, the only reason I work there is because Melanie sponsors the boss for some AA thing."

"Melanie was an alcoholic?"

"She's never been an alcoholic. The sponsoring's part of her charity thing she does for everybody who needs…charity things."

"That's nice of her."

"How 'bout you Carls, how's life? I mean, we haven't been hanging out as much with you in Los Angeles and me...here."

"I know we haven't, but you know it's work and...stuff."

"Stuff like, Griffin?"

"Yes, stuff like Griffin I guess."

"You guess?"

"Griffin's been kind of avoiding me."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I'll ask him over our dinner tonight." Sam parked the car at the diner as Carly looked across the street at a closed down bakery. "Sam, you ever think of restarting your bakery?"

Sam looked at what Carly was looking at. "No, I haven't done any baking since the business went under, stupid economy."

"Maybe you should, it might be theraputical or something." Sam shrugged as the two sat down at their usual table. "Did you forget to shower?"

"Maybe?"

"What did you do last night?" Sam didn't answer and look around in silence. "I get it," Carly understood, "it's not a what, but a who." Sam mumbled stuff. "You're seeing Jonah!"

"Kinda, sorta."

"Kinda, sorta?"

"Jonah and I don't have a…relationship persay."

"Sex buddies?"

"Basically."

"Stop sleeping with him!" A few of the patron's eyes looked at the two friends until Sam shot them glares. "I said that sort of loud didn't I?" Sam nodded. "Sorry, but I meant what I said."

"I know I should, but he's so good!"

"Sam, I noticed that every time you sleep with the guy you always feel bad about yourself the next morning. I'm saying this as your BFF; stop sleeping with Jonah."

"Believe me I want to, but he's just sooooo good!"

"Eww."

"But sex is all he wants me for anyway, and he always wants me gone after we're done."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but you're starting to sound like your mother."

"Ugh, don't remind me. New topic please."

Carly's phone went off and she went to check her message. "My boss is such a jerk!"

"Why don't you quit?"

"Because I love my job, I just hate my boss."

"Griffin's kind of rich. Quit your job and marry him."

"Sam!"

"It's an idea."

"Well, I'll do that when you stop sleeping with Jonah."

"No promises."

For some reason this made Carly chuckle. "Why are we friends?"

"Because no one else will tolerate me," Sam smiled back at her friend.

"True." Carly's phone went off and she read her message. "I gotta go. Spencer tried to break up with Trina and she got mad and pushed him down a flight of stairs."

"Trina? Griffin's ex-girlfriend? Spencer's seeing _her_?"

"She's not that bad, her sister's even nicer. And please don't bring up Trina dating Griffin."

"Jealous?"

"No, Trina and Griffin weren't aware they were cousins until after they…did stuff."

"Eww."

"Why don't I pay for this and I'll see you later."

"I do love when other people pay for my food." The two laughed before hugging each other goodbye and exiting the restaurant.

…

Sam spent the next day sleeping with Jonah, sneaking in through Guppy's window, sulking at her job (frustrating her boss with her snarky comments), and was about to eat alone while her roommates watched one of those classic paternity cases on _Maury_. Then Carly called. "Hey Carls, when'd you get back from L.A.?" Sam took a bite as Carly answered. "Uhm hmm," Sam chewed her food as Carly continued on, "Eh." Sam listened to Carly. "Why do you want me to come over? That creepy neighbor asking you to come inside his apartment and watch _Desperate Housewives_?" Sam shook her head no as Carly talked. "Nothing like that, huh? Big news? Sure I'll come over…yee-ah, I can bring some wine. Cool, see you in ten." She hung up her phone, scarfed down her dinner, got some wine, and drove to Carly's apartment.

Carly was all smiles when she greeted Sam at her door. "Dude, Carls, that neighbor asked me to watch _Desperate Housewives_ with him. What took you so long to answer?"

"I was just getting ready. Come in, sit down, eat something."

"Eat something?"

"I got noodles, _Cheeze-Its_, or," Carly held up an apple and gestured to something that wasn't on her left hand yesterday, "this apple."

Sam noticed the ring. "Is that what I think it is?"

"I'm engaged!"

"What? When? Why…is this happening?"

"Griffin asked me over our dinner yesterday. I thought he was gonna break up with me when he brought up the distance thing between us, but he explained he was avoiding me because he was afraid he wouldn't be able to keep this a secret or ruin a romantic proposal."

"Oh my God, I'm so happy for you!" The two friends hugged.

"There's another reason I asked you here," Carly cleared her throat. "Sam Puckett, I the future Mrs. Carly Drew, want you to be my Maid of Honor."

Sam smiled at her. "Of course I will, kid," They hugged again as Carly's phone rang. Carly reached for it and smiled. "It's my fiancée."

"Ooh."

Carly giggled as she answered the phone. "Hello?"

"CONGRATULATONS!" Sam yelled into the phone.

Carly laughed. "No, it's Sam. I told her about our engagement. She's happy for us."

"No, I'm not!" Sam jokingly yelled into the phone.

Carly laughed. "She's kidding," Carly started talking romantically as she wandered around her apartment in a happy daze.

Sam sat on Carly's couch continually laughing. Somewhere mid laugh, she reached for the wine she brought and chugged it down.

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><p><strong>For those who don't know, <strong>_**Bridesmaids**_** is about a down on her luck woman named Annie (played hilariously by Kristen Wiig) who's best friend Lillian (played by equally hilarious Maya Rudolph) is getting married and asks her to be her Maid of Honor. As the wedding day approaches, the pressures seem to be getting to Annie in addition to a new threat to her and Lillian's friendship…bridesmaid Helen. We also meet three other bridesmaids. Lillian's married cousin Rita who is bored with married life and sex obsessed, Lillian's work friend Becca is a sweet young newlywed, and Lillian's fiancée's hilarious sister Megan. In this fanfic, Sam is Annie and Carly is Lillian.**

**Of course to fit with characters I'll make adjustments on how they know Carly and why they're asked to be bridesmaids. I'll also be featuring scenes that were in the trailer(s), but for some reason taken out of the movie (like Annie drinking the wine after learning Lillian was engaged among other scenes and lines). If you haven't seen the movie, this fanfic will be like the movie and I apologize for spoilers in advance and recommend you see this movie 'cause it's frickin' hilarious.**

**I hope this is good and has your attention because next we meet the other bridesmaids. And if you caught on, two of the bridesmaids have been mentioned in this chapter.**


	2. Meet the Bridesmaids

**Who wants to meet the Bridesmaids?**

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><p>Sam pulled into Melanie's driveway. Melanie answered the door in sweats and pigtails while Sam was dressed in a blouse and skirt. "You're not coming to the engagement party are you?"<p>

"Didn't you get my message? I have to go to an AA meeting tonight."

"Melanie, you're not an alcoholic."

"But I made friends with those people. I help and support them," Melanie began to giggle. "Like this one guy Chuck Chambers-"

"Anonymous, Mel."

"Okay, Chuck C. Anyway, Chuck gave out blowjobs for cash and became a gay prostitute and turned to the alcohol. He hit rock bottom and I helped him get back up. Once you hit bottom, there's only one way out and that's up."

"Yeah, that's cool and all, but I came to pick you up, so if you're not going-"

"Sam, I believe you've hit bottom-"

"I haven't hit bottom."

"-and I want you to know that I care about you, I love you, and you're welcome to stay here with me."

"Yeah, no. No, I'm…I'm not going to move in with you, it'd be weird."

"Your roommate lives with his brother."

"Guppy's not really stable enough to live on his own so-"

"-and you live with the Gibson Brothers. They're super creepy."

"Look, I'll be fine. I'm going to Carly's engagement party now."

"Bring me some cake. A whole piece of cake; try not to eat it like last time."

"No promises!" Sam honked her horn to her sister as she drove off.

…

Sam was more than impressed when she pulled up to the country club where the engagement party was being held. When she pulled up to the massive circle driveway, a valet was there to take her crappy car. "You gotta punch it a few times," she instructed as the valet failed to start her car. Once the valet was gone, she entered the estate and looked around.

"Sam!" An excited Carly ran over to her and gave her a hug. "I'm so glad you're here."

"You kidding? I wouldn't miss this."

"Come on, I want you to meet the other bridesmaids." Carly led her to the bar. Standing in front of the bar was a bored looking woman around Carly and Sam's age. "Sam, this is Jade. Jade is my cousin Beck's wife."

"Nice to meet you."

Jade scoffed. "Whatever."

"Jade and Beck just bought a new house," Carly continued on, "and it's gorgeous."

"I wouldn't know. I just see the kitchen, the laundry room, and the ceiling in my bedroom," Jade was quiet for a second, "…sometimes the floor."

"Jade and Beck have three kids."

"Three boys," Jade rolled her eyes, "they're at home with their father, thank God."

"They're adorable though."

"Please, their looks are their good qualities. They smell, they're sticky, they swear constantly." Jade sighed. "I have no idea where they hear that God damn language, but Jesus Christ they swear like motherfucking sailors. Sometimes I just want to bury those little shits alive."

"Um…okay," Sam didn't exactly know what to say. Jade just raised her eyebrows and drank some wine.

Carly looked outside. "Ooh, I see another one. Come on!" She dragged Sam outside to the patio where a petite redhead was talking with an awkward looking guy with curly hair and glasses. Carly went over to them. "This is Cat."

"Hi!" Cat cheerfully waved. "I'm Cat!"

"Cat and I work together at the design studios."

"Hi, Cat," Sam shook her hand. "I'm Sam."

Cat's eyes widened. "Ooh, like the maid of honor Sam?"

"A-yup!"

"Yay!" Cat put her arm around the guy she was talking to. "This is my husband Robbie." Cat giggled. "We're newlyweds, I like saying he's my husband."

"Wow, that's cool."

"Yeah, and we got back from our sweetheart honeymoon."

"Where'd you go?"

"Disneyworld," the couple answered together. This made Cat giggle again.

"We finish each other sentences sometimes," Robbie's statement made Cat snort for an unknown reason. "Isn't she cute when she snorts?" Robbie and Cat gave each other an Eskimo kiss (where lovers show affection by rubbing their noses together) and laughing to themselves.

Sam looked at them strangely. "Yeah, I guess."

Cat smiled at the guy walking behind Sam and Carly. "Sam, are you dating Andre?"

Sam looked behind her at Andre. "Oh, I don't know him. I'm single…me-oh solo."

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!"

Andre looked at Sam with slight disgust. "Like I would date a white woman."

"You would," Robbie reminded.

"Not a blonde." Andre walked away.

"Sorry," Cat kept apologizing. "Can we just rewind and start over?" Robbie made a rewind noise as Cat giggled. "KK! I'm Cat, Robbie's my husband, and you're not married." Cat stomped her foot. "Phooey!"

"Look it's cool," Sam tried to assure, "it's an honest mistake."

"It's just you're so pretty and it's weird that you're single. I don't like being single. I was so…distraught when I was single." For no reason Cat began to cry.

"Aww, Cat," Carly patted Cat's shoulder.

"I'll handle this," Robbie pulled his wife closer. "Come on Kitty Cat let's go get some cherry pie."

Cat perked up. "Yay, I love pie!"

Sam was slightly confused. "She's not pregnant is she?"

"No, she just has unnatural mood swings," Carly explained. "She's sweet really. And I was a bridesmaid at her wedding so I'm returning the favor."

"What was her wedding like?"

"Incredibly awkward, yet sweet. Want some wine?"

"Love some." The two friends went back inside.

"Carly!" Another woman was waving to her.

"Hi, Trina."

Sam looked at Trina. "That's Trina?"

"She's another bridesmaid."

"Why?"

"Trina kinda forced me into making her a bridesmaid saying it's a way to repay her for Spencer breaking her heart. Of course, Trina did break Spencer's arm, but that's beside the point. And she thinks she lost weight, so compliment her on that."

Trina made her way to Carly and Sam. "You must be the maid of honor," she gestured to Sam. "Why you're the maid of honor I don't know because I've had the most experience as a maid of honor, and Carly owes me for things."

"Ooh, you reminded me of something," Carly left Sam and Trina alone.

"So…" Sam didn't know what to say, "…I noticed the bandage over your wrist."

"Yeah I was on a yacht and I slipped and fell into the Pacific Ocean, somehow breaking my wrist. It's all a blur to me."

"Wow."

"But I do remember when I had my near death experience, I was rescued by a dolphin that literally looked into my soul. And the dolphin told me everything was going to be alright. I mean I assumed the dolphin said this telepathically or whatever, I bored myself." Trina noticed Andre get on the stage behind them to prepare his instruments. "Hey, you must be Sam's fella."

Andre groaned. "Why do you women assume I'm dating this white woman?" He stormed off.

"Way to diva out!" Trina called to him. "Good thing you're not seeing him, he seems like a jerk."

"Sam!" Carly pulled her away.

"Thank you, Carls," Sam whispered.

"One can only take so much of Trina. Anyway I want you to meet Trina's sister." Sam turned around, but Carly stopped her. "She's so much better than Trina. I met her through her husband, not her sister and no one would believe these two are related."

"This is the last one right?"

"Last one, promise." Carly stopped near the main hall. "Tori!"

A brunette in a long black gown turned around to look at them. Tori smiled and waved back as she made her way to Sam and Carly. And in that brief first impression, Sam suddenly felt a thousand times more inferior and worse about herself.

"If it isn't our maid of honor," Tori gave Sam a hug. "It's so nice to meet Carly's childhood friend."

"Tori…" Sam was at a loss for words again, "…you're so pretty." This chick was sister to Trina?

Tori smiled. "Aww, thank you; you're so cute."

"Thanks."

"Did you come from work?"

Before Sam could answer, Carly continued on with the introduction. "Tori is married to billionaire Kevin Chase, and Kevin is Griffin's boss."

"Yeah and Griffin and Kevin are practically joined at the hip, and that's good because now…" Tori put her arm around Carly and moved closer, "…so are we."

"I'm so glad you two could meet," Carly smiled.

"I wish this introduction could last longer, but I need to check on the hors d'oeuvres," Tori let go of Carly and smiled at Sam. "It was great to finally meet you."

"Ditto, great party by the way," Sam feigned a smile back.

"Enjoy," Tori excused herself.

"She's awesome isn't she?" Carly asked.

Sam glanced at Carly. "Yeah, not as awesome as you, but…she's cool. Isn't Kevin Chase like in his late 40's or something?"

"Sam!"

"She looks a little young to be married to that guy; no offense to her or anything."

"They're eighteen years apart."

"How did they even meet?"

"Well, they first met when Tori put on some show for his son Henry's fourth birthday in 2011, and then they met again when she drove a friend off to his first wife's funeral a few years ago. Kevin appreciated how nice she was to him and his family in their time that he paid writers of the show _Hot in Cleveland _to name their actress character Victoria Chase, and now Tori herself is Mrs. Victoria Chase. Well, technically she goes by Tori Vega-Chase."

"She seems nice."

"Tori's cool."

Sam nodded as a server carrying a wine tray passed her. "Excuse me, I'm gonna take some," Sam took a glass of wine and gulped it down.

…

Spencer stood on the stage as the crowd of guests gathered around. "I'm excited to be welcoming Griffin into our family, and on behalf of mine and Carly's late parents, I'm say they would absolutely adore Griffin, and request that he and Carly marry now so Spencer doesn't have to pay a crapload of money for this wedding." The crowd laughed. Spencer laughed along with them and quickly became serious. "No, seriously, I shouldn't have to pay a crapload of money I obviously don't have for this wedding." The crowd continued laughing. "Anyway, thanks for coming," Spencer raised his glass, "and here's to Griffin and Carly."

"CHEERS!" Everyone shouted.

"Enough from the big brother who has to pay for everything; let's get our maid of honor up here."

Sam made her way to the stage as Carly applauded her. "YAY SAM!"

"Thank you," Sam stammered, "I'm not gonna say much, but I will say I'm honored to be a part of this celebration. Carly and Griffin, you two deserve each other, as well as a lifetime of ultimate happiness." Carly swooned and rested her head on her fiancée's shoulder as Griffin thanked Sam for her kind words. "Cheers."

"CHEERS!"

As Sam was about to put the microphone away, she noticed Tori approach the stage. Sam handed Tori the microphone. "Thanks Sam, that was so sweet." Tori turned and looked at Carly. "Carls, remember our trip to Miami with the boys? How when they were off doing boy things or something we got to know each other better over wine and _Cheeze-Its_? I shared things with you that I've never shared with anyone. You made me realize that I can trust people again. I just want to say to you, Carly Shay, you are my best friend in the whole world, and I'm so proud of you." As people in the audience awed and swooned, Sam's face expressed both hurt and anger. "And Griffin, don't keep my Carls on a leash 'cause I still need my gal pal nights at _Rockin' Sushi_," the crowd (sans Sam) laughed again. "Everyone raise your glasses to Carly and Griffin, the couple of the decade. WOO!" The crowd celebrated as Sam set her glass down and headed back to the stage. "Desert wine is now out."

Sam took the microphone. "Carly, I want to tell you how special you are to me. I've known you my whole entire life and we're practically sisters. You've also helped shaped who I am and I want to thank you for carefully selecting me as your maid of honor among some other choices," she couldn't help but glance at Tori at that last part, "but we're so close, like sisters. And like sisters, we love each other. So, this now concludes speeches for the night-"

Tori came onto the stage with her own microphone. "Thanks and one last thing. It's rare to meet someone as an adult you can rarely connect with, but that's you Carls. My husband Kevin and I went to Thailand recently and I learned the most beautiful saying there." Tori repeated a saying. "That means; you are a part of me, a part that I could never live without. And I hope and I pray that I never have to." She thanked the crowd in Thai as Sam made her way back onto the stage. "That's it for tonight, thanks for coming and-"

"Really quick…"

"-desert wine is out. So Consuela could you-"

"…oh speaking of Consuela, Carly and I took Spanish together in high school. Now I would like to say this to you," Sam cleared her throat. "Gracias para vivir en la casa, en la escuelas, en el azul... marcada. Tienes con beber en las…yada, yada, yada," everyone gave her funny looks. "Um…gracias."

Tori came back on stage with her microphone. "Thanks, Sam. Anyway, Carly, I feel so close to you. You're my angel, my soul mate, and I know I can trust you matter what. I feel I can communicate with you with simply a look." Tori gave a soft, yet expressive look at Carly that made Carly smile back. "Thanks for coming."

Of course, Sam wasn't done yet. "Carly," Sam just stared at Carly with a strange look. The look on Sam's face received other strange looks from the crowd. So without thinking, Sam started to sing.

"_Keep smilin', keep shinin'_

_Knowing you can always count on me_

_For sure_

_That's what friends are for."_

As Sam started singing the next part, Tori joined her onstage with her microphone and sang along.

"_For good times and bad times_

_I'll be on your side_

_Forever more_

_That's what friends are for."_

The crowd burst into applause assuming it was a sort of comedy act as Sam and Tori stood back to back to each other staring at the audience. It was clear there was now an attention competition between the maid of honor and the bridesmaid.

* * *

><p><strong>For some reason my sister loves that scene where Annie gives a speech then Helen (the character Tori's based on), then Annie, then Helen, and it continues until the end of the song. I basically kept the same speech just adjusted it to fit character names.<strong>

**If you've seen the movie and are confused who some of them are based off of.**

_**Annie: Sam**_

_**Lillian: Carly**_

_**Helen: Tori**_

_**Rita: Jade**_

_**Becca: Cat**_

_**Megan: Trina**_

**If you're wondering why Freddie isn't in here, stop wondering. He is in here. The other change is he never knew Carly and Sam and he'll play an important role just as much as they do. This will be Seddie, I assure you.**

**The song I believe is **_**That's What Friends Are For**_**, I've never heard it. Annie and Helen sang it, I copied the lyrics.**


	3. Broken Tail Lights and Tennis

**Okay, in this chapter we're going to meet Freddie. If you've seen the movie and you hope he's Officer Rhodes, he is, just not Irish. Nathan Rhodes, Nathan Kress…get it?**

**Horrible reference, now we move on.**

* * *

><p>"Engagement parties are pretty awesome," Carly and Sam were talking to each other as everyone was leaving. "I can't wait to throw you the most awesome engagement party ever. Maybe I should get divorced just so I can get engaged again." Sam feigned a smile. "You okay?"<p>

"What's the deal with Tori?"

"Is it about the speech thing?"

"Kinda."

"I assure you Tori is really not that bad. You just need to get to know her, spend some alone time with her."

"I don't know Carls, I-"

"Hi," Tori was standing in between Carly and Sam. "I hope I'm not interrupting any girl chat."

"No," Carly assured, "in fact Sam wanted to ask you something."

"Really?"

"I'm gonna talk to Griffin while Sam asks you her question." Carly went back into the estate and Sam and Tori stood there in awkward silence.

"So," Sam broke the silence, "Carly suggested that maybe we should get to know each other better by hanging out…just us."

Tori thought about that. "Sounds like fun. Do you play tennis?"

"I…used to play tennis."

"You should meet me at the tennis courts this Wednesday. It's not too far from here."

"Yeah, sure."

"Listen, Sam, I hope you don't take this the wrong way but Carly's told me about some of your troubles."

"Has she?"

"I'd be more than happy to handle the bachelorette party and the bridal shower-"

"-thanks Tori, but I think I can handle it." As the awkward silence between the two of them continued, the valet pulled up with Sam's car. "I'll see you this Wednesday." Sam got into her car and started driving away. While driving on the freeway, she mocked Tori. "Hi, I'm Tori. I'm rich; I'll pay for everything because you're poor." Sam flipped her hair. "Have you met my best friend Carly? We've only known each other for five minutes." When Sam flipped her hair again the car swerved, getting the attention of the police. "Aww man! No! Come on." She pulled over as the cop came to the driver's side. "Sobriety test?"

"Yup; I need you to walk a straight line and touch your nose."

"I'm not drunk."

"Just do what I say, please."

Sam groaned and walked the straight line repeatedly while simultaneously touching her nose. "See, not drunk."

"So you're just a terrible sober driver?"

"Ha, ha," Sam sarcastically rolled her eyes. "Can I stop this now?"

"You can stop when I tell you to stop."

"Okay if I was drunk could I do this?" Sam began to dance on the straight line while repeatedly touching her nose (and Vogueing for some reason).

"I would hope so." Sam continued dancing on the straight line. "Please stop. I believe you, you're not drunk. However, I still have to give you a ticket."

"What? Why?"

"Funny thing about tail lights, you have to have them."

Sam moaned. "I'm so stupid. I knew I forgot about that; they've been out for like a year. Look, I promise I'll get them fixed this week, I really promise," Sam moved closer to the cop and tried to act flirty. "Do you really have to give me a ticket?" She batted her eyes.

"Yes." Sam groaned. "License and registration please." Sam got into her car and got out what she needed to. The cop looked over the license. "Sam Puckett?" She nodded. "You don't remember me?"

She looked at him. "Should I?"

"It's me, Freddie."

"Freddie Benson?" Sam was speechless. "Wow, God I haven't seen you since-"

"-since I broke up with you after high school."

"A-yup."

He looked at her license again. "We're sort of neighbors; I live a couple streets away on Maple."

"I used to work on Maple."

"You with a job?"

"Ha, ha Fredward."

"What did you do?"

"I owned a bakery."

"_Cake Baby_?" She nodded. "That was your place? I loved the cakes."

"Did you?"

"Yeah, I wish they hadn't closed it down."

"Well, stupid economy."

"You made good cream puffs too."

"Thanks."

"Yeah, I remember when I went in there I was served by some creep with a wormy kind of face."

Sam sighed. "Boyfriend."

"Yikes, sorry."

"It's cool he dumped me after the bakery went under."

"What a dick." Sam nodded in agreement. "Kinda glad I didn't tip him." Sam feigned a smile and looked forward as Freddie finished writing the ticket. Freddie sighed and started to rip up the ticket. "You know, let's just forget about this. I'll let it slide just this once."

"Really?"

"On one condition; get those tail lights fixed before you kill someone."

"I'll get them fixed and I promise I won't kill anyone."

"Here's your stuff back. And…" Freddie reached into his pocket, "…I know this guy who has a body shop near your place. He does great work and he'll fix your tail lights for a discount."

"Andy Samberg? Like the SNL guy?"

"Samburg with a 'U'. Don't mention the Andy Samberg thing though, it pisses him off. He'll give you a discount if you mention me."

"Thanks Benson, I appreciate this."

"And I appreciated your cakes."

"Why are you letting me off so easily?"

"I figured you've been having a bad day or so, and a ticket is the last thing you need. Not all cops are bad, I'm not."

"I know that, you're still pretty cool. Thanks again."

"No problem." Sam drove off as Freddie got into his squad car.

…

The following Wednesday, Sam and Tori were sitting at a table waiting for an open court. "I didn't know you actually played tennis," Tori told her.

"Yeah, a little, I played in high school."

"Well, I'm glad we were able to hang out today."

"Me too."

"It's too bad Carly couldn't make it."

"Yeah, well Carly never was into sports. Growing up she didn't really like anything competitive."

"She certainly enjoys playing tennis now," Tori stifled a chuckle. "It's funny how people change."

"Yeah, but I don't know, do people really change?"

Tori nodded. "I think they do."

"Sure, but they still stay who they are pretty much."

"I think we change all the time."

"No we stay the same, but we grow a little bit, I guess."

"I think if you're growing then you're changing."

"But we're changing from who we are, which we always stay as."

"Not really, I don't think so."

"I think so."

Tori shrugged. "Oh, Sam," she gestured behind Sam, "these are my kids."

"Step-kids," Tori's stepdaughter corrected, "_step_."

Tori chuckled. "They're so hilarious. Technically these are my husband's kids, Henry and Annie. What are you guys up to?"

"We're going to the snack bar," Annie answered in a sort of monotone.

"Awesome. Do you guys want me to pick you up later?"

"Fuck off Tori," Henry scoffed as he and his sister walked off.

Tori laughed. "Okay, that's another quarter in the swear jar. Good to see you!" She called to them as they went off. She smiled at Sam. "They're so cute, funny too."

"Sweet kids," Sam commented with a hint of sarcasm.

"Oh, a court's open!" Tori pointed out. "Ready for some tennis?"

"You bet." The two girls grabbed their rackets and headed to the court.

"Your serve," Tori tossed the tennis ball to Sam.

"Coolio." Before starting their game, the two women stared intently at each other. "Incoming!" Sam served the ball. Tori hit back with force, so Sam hit back with force striking Tori in the shoulder. Sam silently celebrated to herself as Tori cried out in pain. But things didn't get any less painful from there. Both girls put so much force in each other's hit to make sure the other got hurt. After the first hit, Tori struck back hitting Sam on her boob. So Sam played rougher and in the end she had hit Tori the most.

While this was going on, Tori's step-kids were watching with boredom. "I've seen better tennis playing in a tampon commercial," Henry commented.

* * *

><p><strong>DID YOU KNOW: Matt Bennett, who plays Robbie in <strong>_**Victorious**_**, played the stepson in that scene and that's the only time you see him in the movie. And for the record, the step-kids had no names in the movie. But since Kevin Chase's son's name was Henry, I created a step-sister for Henry and named her Annie after the lead character in **_**Bridesmaids**_**. Oh, Kevin Chase and his son Henry were mentioned/seen in the **_**Victorious**_** episode **_**"The Diddly Bops"**_** (where Tori and the gang dressed as food and sang that song).**

**So there you go, Freddie's the cop. Oh, and I promise we'll get some more scenes with the bridesmaids (and even the Gibson brothers) in the next chapter.**


	4. A Day with the Bridal Party

**My sis and I both agree that the fitting scene at the bridal dress shop is frickin' hilarious. And it's been inferred that people seem to like Trina/the Trina character. I love the character I based Trina on (seriously Melissa McCarthy deserves a supporting actress **_**Oscar**_**) but I'm not a fan of Trina, and I have to keep her same characteristics. As the reader, I need you guys to let me know if I do a good job with keeping in character (pretty please).**

**Moving on…**

* * *

><p>After spending Thursday afternoon looking after everything the maid of honor should do (on at least twelve different pages), Sam finally admitted to herself that she didn't have the money she needed, and that most of it went to rent. So she sat the Gibson brothers down for a chat.<p>

"I'm just going to say it," Sam began, "Guppy needs to start paying rent. He's lived here long enough and there are three people living here. The rent should be paid three ways, it's only fair."

"Well, technically Guppy can't work," Gibby reminded. "Various institutions have branded him 'unstable' so how can he pay the rent without a job?" Guppy leaned over and whispered into Gibby's ear. "No, we tried prostitution once."

"Prostitution? Guys, I'm talking about splitting the rent three ways, it's only fair."

Gibby turned to his brother. "Is this about the diary thing?"

"Diary? Like my journal? Guppy read my journal?"

"He told me he thought it was a sad, handwritten book."

"I've asked you guys to stay out of my room!"

"Maybe we forget. You should put up a sign on your door saying 'Do Not Enter My Room, Read My Diary, or Wear My Clothes', and I'm pretty sure we'll remember not to do that stuff."

"Wear my clothes?"

…

Jade had so "graciously donated" her station wagon for the ladies to use as their mode of transportation to a bridal party lunch at a restaurant of Sam's choosing before heading off to their fitting. And Sam chose a Mexican like restaurant on the outskirts of town.

Cat looked around stunned. "Wow, I've never been to this part of town," she giggled. "It's an adventure!"

"Sam?" Carly looked at her friend.

"I know it looks a little scary on the outside," Sam began, "but the food here is delicious."

"Well, Sam usually does drag me to the weirdest places-"

"Oh look you can get your checks cashed next door," Tori pointed out.

"-but the food is always delicious."

"Plus you get a lot for your money here," Sam added.

"Whatever, I'm starving," Trina headed into the restaurant with the bridal party following close behind, with the exception of Tori who was frightened by a stray dog crossing her path.

"Hello ladies," a familiar face greeted them.

Sam and Carly smiled. "T-Bo?"

"Yeah, I work here now," he pulled a bunch of tacos on a stick out of his back pocket. "You want some tacos on a stick?"

"Maybe," Sam replied, "but we're here for lunch this afternoon; Puckett, party of six."

"Yeah, cool. I gotcha table all set up for you ladies," T-Bo led them to their table, which had six glasses of margaritas and six salads waiting for them. "The margaritas are compliments of the staff on Carly Shay's engagement, the salads are our only appetizers and is included on the bill."

"Thanks T-Bo," Carly smiled as she and the other girls sat down.

"Imma be back with some more food on sticks." T-Bo left.

"Well, I propose a toast," Carly lifted her margarita glass. "To my bridesmaids; this is a stone cold pack of weirdos and I'm so proud."

"Cheers," the ladies clinked their glasses together.

"And I just want to toast you ladies," Sam continued, "it's been great getting to know you guys and now I have four new friends."

"Cheers," this was less enthusiastic and only Carly, Cat, and Trina clinked their glasses with Sam's.

T-Bo came back to their table with a wait staff and more foods on sticks. "Who's hungry?"

"Bitch, I want it all!" Trina reached for the food as the rest of the ladies chose their mostly meaty food.

Cat looked over at Tori's plate. "Tori, aren't you having any meat?"

"It's actually not a good idea to eat a big meal before a fitting," Tori was lying but the others didn't seem to notice, "you might get a little bloated."

"Not me," Trina bit into her meat. "I never bloat," this was what the ladies assumed Trina had said but it was hard to tell with her mouth full. "So Carly, what are your honeymoon plans?"

As Carly, Sam, and the Vega sisters were discussing one topic, Cat was instigating another conversation with Jade (who was trying to avoid the women in general). "Hi!"

"What?"

"We're friends right?"

"We have been since high school, Cat."

"I was thinking, now that I'm married, and you're married, and Tori's married, and Carly's going to be married-"

"Does this have a point?"

"I don't want to talk about married stuff."

"Good."

"I wanna talk about family!" Jade groaned. "Robbie and I are thinking of starting a family!"

"Don't."

"Why not? I can't wait to have a family with him, and to be married as long as you and Beck have, and have little Robbies and Cats. What's wrong with that?"

Jade sighed. "Let me tell you a story."

"Yay, I love stories!"

"The other night, I'm slaving away making a beautiful dinner for my family- why I'm a domesticated bitch I don't know- and while I'm slaving away, one of my sons says he wants to order pizza. I say no and he says back, 'Mom, why don't you go and fuck yourself?'." Cat gasped. "My four year old said that." Cat gasped again. "I don't know where they hear that mother fucking language from, those snot-nosed little shits." Jade ate her meat as Cat stared kind of surprised and sad at her.

"Kay, ladies, I'll BRB," Carly left the table.

Sam gestured the ladies closer. "Okay I wanted to talk about the bridal shower really quick while Carly's gone. I was thinking it could be a French theme. Carly's always wanted to go to Paris her entire life and never had the chance to, so I figured we could bring Paris to her." Cat oohed. "We can have champagne, and…and cookies that say 'Carly and Griffin' on them, maybe dip them in chocolate fondue. Maybe get some fancy cheese. Hey, we can get French invitations and a fake Eiffel Tower."

"I actually like that crappy idea," Jade honestly responded.

"Yeah, we can wear Paris fashions that show off my sexy body," Trina commented.

"I love French Fries!" Cat proclaimed. It seemed all the ladies liked the French theme.

"I dunno," well almost all of the ladies, "the French thing's kind of a been there done that thing. It's a cute idea, but I think we can do better, we can top it. Do you guys have some either themes in mind?"

"Ooh!" Cat raised her hand, "what about like a Disney Princess theme? I wanna be Ariel!"

"I was thinking Versace meets the gold rush," Tori inputted.

"Murder mystery with actual murder," no surprise this was Jade's idea.

Trina gestured that she wanted to speak. "I was too lazy to change my channel one night and I was watching something on female fight clubs. I vote for female fight club. We grease up, pull in, Carly doesn't know, and then SURPRISE…we beat the shit out of her. Carly won't ever forget that. I mean, we just frickin' attack that bitch."

Jade contemplated this. "I don't hate that idea. But if I'm being honest, I only care about the bachelorette party. What are we doing for the bachelorette party?"

"Yeah and we gotta give Carly a great bachelorette party. I betcha right now she's in there bawling her eyes out because she realized she's going to spend the rest of her life with Griffin. He's my cousin and I love him, but he's an asshole. I think we can all agree on that right?" For some reason, Cat smiled and nodded, and then when she realized what she agreed with Trina said she expressed confusion.

"I was thinking for the bachelorette party we could have tanned gentleman that wear serans and swallow fire."

"You know what, Jade," Sam began, "I don't think we should worry about the bachelorette party now. Maybe we should take some time to think about some better ideas and discuss it later."

"Whatever."

"We just have to make sure it's really, really special," Tori concluded by looking at Sam. Sam faked a smile back at her.

…

Sam pulled into the parking lot at the bridal shop. The ladies were in awe. "Ooh _Belle en Blanc_!" Cat clapped, "they have pretty dresses. Good choice, Sam." The others agreed as Sam pushed the buzzer on the intercom.

"_Belle en Blanc_ reservation name?" a female voice asked.

"Oh…I don't have one," Sam admitted, "we're just here to try on some dresses."

"Okay, well the next available appointment for bridesmaids fitting is in seven weeks; absolutely no walk-ins."

Tori bent down to the intercom. "Sherry, it's Tori."

"Tori Vega?"

"Tori Vega-Chase," Tori corrected. "I believe a certain someone owes me a favor for hooking you up with Andre Harris."

"Hold on, Tori, I'll let you right in." Sherry ran to the door and greeted Tori. "Hello and welcome to _Belle en Blanc_."

Trina looked around in awe. "Man, this is some classy sh—" she burped one of the loudest burps ever.

"Jesus Trina," Jade was disgusted.

"I want to apologize; I'm not even confident which end that came out of. Go ahead and continue with your thing, Shirley."

"Sherry," Shery corrected. "It seems there's nothing left to say except have fun shopping." Carly and Sam looked at each other and smiled in excitement.

"OH MY GOD!" Tori ran over to a purple dress on a mannequin as the others followed. "This is a _Fritz Bernae_, and I don't think we can do any better. It's unique, it's special, it's couture-"

Sam looked at the price as the others complimented the dress. "It's eight hundred bucks."

Tori gasped with delight. "And it's on sale!"

"I think maybe we should look at some other dresses," Sam went over to two different mannequins. The first one had a blue dress. "Like-" she looked at the price tag, "-not that one." She looked at the price tag on the second one. "Like this one! This is pretty, and sweet...it's pretty sweet. Besides, we don't wanna upstage Carly do we?"

Carly smiled. "Please don't worry about upstaging me. Tori here is friends with French wedding dress designer Madame Geneviève St. Pierre and Madame St. Pierre is designing my wedding dress. I just sent my measurements to France, y'all!"

The girls applauded Carly and Tori. Even Jade who asked Tori, "Where were you when I was getting married bitch?"

"Let's not decide right away," Tori persuaded. "Let's try some dresses on and then decide which one's the best. Let's have some fun." The women split up to try on different dresses. Sam stood there beside her simple little dress and felt herself become hot and sweaty in the air conditioned bridal shop.

Once they tried on their dresses, Sherry gathered them around. Sam wore the simple light blue dress, Cat wore a mid-length pink strapless, Trina wore a yellow dress with roses, Jade wore a black dress (of course), and Tori was in the purple _Fritz Bernae_. "Ladies, you all look beautiful, but you can only decide on one dress."

"I mean you all look stunning," Tori began, "but personally, I think the _Fritz Bernae's _just…words can't describe it," Tori twirled around and modeled the dress, "it's a _Fritz Bernae_ and there's no dress better, no question."

"There might be a question," Sam disagreed, "a question of movement. I mean this dress would look great on everyone, it's a good color, and again you can move in it. See," Sam twirled around and then she stretched out, "you can spread your legs apart. It's totally easy to get out of when you gotta do some business in the bathroom." After Sam said that, Jade put her hand to her stomach as Cat fanned herself with her hand.

"Maybe this would help you decide," Sherry interjected. "In the back room I found a two year old St. Pierre wedding gown and I had Carly try it on so you can see what you'll be standing next to. Carly, darling, you may enter!"

Carly came out looking as beautiful as ever in a white wedding dress as everyone awed. Jade included. "Holy shit you look amazing."

Carly smiled at Sam, and Sam smiled back. "Carly, I don't know what to say. You look-" a strange noise came out of Trina. The women looked over at Trina who was doubled over and covering her mouth. "Trina, you okay?"

As Trina stood upright, Cat clutched her stomach and Jade started fanning herself. "Sorry, I think this dress is a little too tight and it's makin' my stomach hurt." Trina fanned herself. "Is it hot in here?"

"My God," Tori looked at her sister, "you got food poisoning from that restaurant."

"No," Sam again disagreed with Tori. "I had the same thing Trina had and I feel fine."

Cat made the same noise and doubled over. "My tummy hurts!"

Another similar noise erupted from Jade. "You know, I don't care what dress we get; I just need to get off of this white carpet." Jade ran toward the bathroom as Sherry begged her and the other ladies to go outside.

Tori glanced over at a sweaty Sam. Sam feigned a chuckle. "We all got the flu; what a coincidence."

As Jade pushed open the bathroom door, she vomited all over the toilet, and the closed lid of the toilet. "Oh shit," she lifted up the lid and continued to vomit.

Trina came running in. "I NEED THE TOILET!"

"FUCK OFF TRINA!" Jade pushed Trina away. Trina growled and looked over at the sink. When Jade glanced up at Trina, her dress was up down and she was sitting on the sink like it was a toilet. "NO, TRINA, NO!"

"LOOK AWAY!" Trina barked. Jade looked down at the porcelain bowl and vomited.

Without warning, Cat came running in and accidentally vomited on Jade. "Oh my gosh, I'm sorry!"

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Jade commanded.

"WHAT DID WE EAT?" Trina screamed.

Cat looked up at Trina. "Trina, what are you doing?"

"It's coming out of me like lava!"

"TRINA!"

"DON'T LOOK AT ME!"

Meanwhile, Tori was alone with Sam. "Sam, you don't look very well."

"Well, I feel fine," Sam was lying and both of them knew it.

"I think you'd feel better if you threw up."

"I don't have to throw up. In fact, I'm hungry, and I need something to eat."

"Okay," Tori went to the receptionist desk and returned to Sam with an almond.

"Thank you," Sam took the almond and ate it. Once she swallowed it, she smiled up at Tori. "See, I'm fine."

Carly, still in the wedding dress, ran over to the two of them. "Sam, everyone's really sick from that restaurant." The noise that came out of the other bridesmaids escaped from Carly. "I need a bathroom!" Carly ran outside to use the bathroom across the street (completely ignoring the driving cars) as Sam stood outside the bridal shop and watched Carly. "It's happening!" Carly kept saying. "It's happening!" As Carly was almost across the street, she stopped. "It's happened."

Carly sat in the street and gestured for the cars to pass her as Sherry ran outside with Tori following. "Oh no! DON'T YOU DARE RUIN THAT DRESS!"

Sam was watching this fiasco. "Ooh, you're really doing it aren't you? You're shitting in the street."

Tori sighed and turned to a horrified Sherry. "Thank you Sherry the dresses are lovely, but we'll take five of the _Fritz Bernae's_."

Sam watched as Carly turned around at her and glared. "We're all pregnant, at the same time! Congratulations!" Sam was still lying, refusing to believe they were sick from the restaurant she chose.

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I loved that scene at the bridal shop and I knew that the chapter probably be longer. Oh and that last line was in one of the movie trailers, I'm not sure which one but it wasn't a theatrical one because I saw the commercial on TV.<strong>

**Cameos include Sherry from the **_**Victorious **_**episode **_**"Prom Wrecker"**_** (the girl who constantly made out with Andre) and T-Bo from **_**iCarly**_**.**


	5. Cop and Bachelorette Stuff

**I've got nothing to say. Gonna jump into it.**

* * *

><p>It had been one helluva day for Sam. After spending the day with the bridal party- and seeing how well that turned out- she spent most of the night with Jonah…until he kicked her out of his house again. What next? Not wanting to go home to the Gibson brothers, she decided to go to the mini mart and buy an energy drink to keep her awake.<p>

And who should be there but Officer Freddie Benson. "Sam?" Sam turned to look at him.

"Oh, hi."

"What are you doing here so early?"

"Um, bad night…boy trouble…sorta."

"You want me to arrest anyone?"

"Actually…no, you don't have to."

"Wanna talk about it? Cops are just like priests…" Sam shot him a funny look. "…except that we tell everyone about it afterwards." He and Sam laughed. "But I wouldn't tell anyone." There was a pause between the two of them. Freddie broke the tension by holding up a bag of mini carrots. "Wanna carrot?"

"Right now?"

"I'll share."

"Yeah, sure."

"Come on," Freddie paid for their stuff and he and Sam sat on his car. He listened as Sam told him about what had been happening. "Ooh, rough."

"It'll get better, right?"

Freddie shrugged. "My mom was maid of honor at my cousin Amanda's wedding."

"Your icky cousin Amanda?"

"I know, right? Anyway, Mom found it so stressful that her hair started falling out."

"That would have been hilarious to see."

"It was pret-ty gross," Freddie accentuated the word 'pretty'. "Planning a wedding should be fun. If I got married, I'd have a carnival theme wedding; and have everyone be stress free."

"Carnival theme?"

"Yeah. Like…like people win prizes for guessing the bride's weight, have dunk tanks, a reception on a roller coaster."

"Sounds fun."

"Instead of stressing out about Carly's wedding maybe you should open a new bakery."

"Sorry Fredward, those days are over. I don't bake anymore."

"You keep telling yourself that."

Sam reached into the bag of carrots. "Ew!"

"You found the ugly carrot!"

"It is ugly."

"There's one in every bag. You have to eat it."

"What?"

"Yeah, it brings you good luck. Besides, when we were younger you ate everything."

"Yeah but did the food I eat look exactly like a penis?"

"Fine, I'll eat it."

"No, don't do that!" Sam swiped it away and the carrot landed on the ground.

"Don't litter! I'll fine you." They stared at the carrot. "Screw it, I'm picking it up; it bothers me."

"Just don't eat it."

"I won't now that it's been on the ground." Freddie threw it into the trash.

"So how did you go from tech weenie to a cop?"

"Well I was working in Radio Shack when someone came in with a gun. I sorta tackled the guy, got a reward, and I thought this seems pretty cool. Besides, I'd been growing muscles and cops have muscles."

"You're not tough."

"I am too tough."

"No, you're a weenie. I'm tough."

"I'm sure you are."

"I could be a cop."

"Prove it."

"What?"

"Let's see if you have what it takes. Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"We're gonna test your cop abilities."

"Couldn't think of a better descriptive term, huh?"

"Let's just go." Freddie turned the siren on and they drove to the highway where he pulled her over.

"What are we doing here?"

"This is my post; where I check for speeders."

"Ah, speed patroller, some cop you are."

Freddie handed her the speedometer. "Let's see if you got the need for speed."

"Cheesy, Fredward."

"Eh. Ready?"

"A-yup!"

"Plant your feet," Freddie instructed, and Sam obeyed, "take aim," Sam followed his directions, "now…put your left hand behind your head."

"Um…yeah, sure," Sam did as she was told.

"Now drop your left hip."

Sam did this with a laugh as Freddie wolf whistled. "You're getting some sick thrill out of this aren't you?"

"Maybe," Freddie smiled. "Seriously though keep your arms straight. And when you do this, you wanna hit the middle of the license plate; by doing that you get the most accurate reading."

"Got it!" Sam prepped herself as a car was coming by. "Fifty-eight," she informed as the car drove off.

"Cool."

"What's the speed limit?"

"Fifty-five."

"So, they're alright." Sam braced herself for another car. "Sixty-three." Freddie just shrugged. "Missin' some good ones here, Freddie."

"People are probably on their way to work, why ruin their day." Freddie and Sam got ready for the next one. "Betcha the next one's forty-eight."

Sam used the speedometer. "Forty-eight."

"It wasn't?" Freddie was surprised.

"It was."

"Holy chiz that's never happened before."

"It was totally forty-eight."

"I am pret-ty impressive," Freddie sounded out the syllables to the word 'pretty'.

"Well, I am pretty impressed with you."

He noticed another car coming. "Whoa, get that one."

Sam did as instructed. "Ninety-one." She turned to him and smiled. "Can we go?"

"We can go!"

"Awesome!" She ran over to the passenger side of Freddie's squad car, and the car took off zooming once she was in.

"Let's get this skunkbag!"

"WOO!"

…

Feeling happier than she ever felt in a while, Sam decided to plan Carly's wedding. Remembering a lake house Carly's granddad owned, Sam decided this would be a great spot for the bachelorette party and started to e-mail the bridesmaids her idea.

_Great idea for bachelorette party; Carly's granddad owned an awesome lake house and Carly and I spent a lot of fun times there and it is big enough to hold an awesome party._

Less than a minute after sending out the e-mail, Sam's phone rang. "Hello?"

"I just got your e-mail," Tori was on the other line. "Um, lake house?"

"Yeah, Carly and I used to go there all the time-"

"A bachelorette party in a cabin?"

A buzz was on the other line. Sam checked the ID. "Hold on, Jade's on the other line."

"Ooh, tell Jade to get online and we'll all video chat. I'll tell Trina and Cat."

"Tori-" too late, Tori hung up. Sam sighed and answered call waiting. "Hey Jade, can you get on video chat so we can talk to the other bridesmaids?"

"Whatever," Jade scoffed as she hung up.

Sam opened up a video chat and sure enough all four bridesmaids were ready to talk. "Okay, so Tori suggested we do this so we could all share our ideas for the bachelorette party."

Jade was the first to speak. "I need a trip that I can fantasize about forever so that I can have sex with my husband." There was a loud thud from her part followed by some naughty words from her sons. "Hold on," she turned around. "HEY!" this got them quiet. "Shut your filthy fucking mouth you little assholes!" This earned a gasp from Cat. "I'm surrounded by savages."

"Did you have an idea on where to go?"

"A male strip club."

"A male strip club?" Tori inquisitively raised an eyebrow.

"I need balls in my face," Jade replied.

"I second that!" Trina agreed.

"I don't wanna go to a strip club," Cat whined.

"Well Cat, where do you wanna go?" Sam inquired.

"Disneyland!"

"Didn't you go there for your honeymoon?"

Cat giggled. "No, silly, that was Disneyworld; they're totally different."

"All of those sound good," Trina commented, "but I still think we should do the fight club thing. I mean, I know some legit places that do that."

"Ladies," Tori began, "I know the perfect place that incorporates all of those ideas."

"Where?" Sam asked.

"Vegas."

"Yes!" Jade and Trina agreed in unison.

"Vegas?" Cat didn't seem to like the idea.

"In addition to the gambling, fighting, and stripping, they have live shows with music and sometimes puppets."

Cat clapped with delight. "Yay! I love puppets…except for Rex, Rex is mean."

"Robbie still carries around that puppet with him?" Trina questioned.

"Yes, but Rex doesn't like to be called a puppet."

Sam looked at the bank statement beside her. In total she had $350. "I don't know if we can afford this."

Tori smiled. "Then don't worry, I'll pay for everything. I'll even get us seats in first class."

"First class? Like on an airplane?" Sam seemed anxious.

"Aww," Cat seemed to grasp why Sam suddenly became nervous, "Sam's afraid of flying."

"I don't really like flying in general…one too many bad experiences on airplanes for me. So maybe the lake house thing seems better, more…easier to get to."

"You know if you get nervous I can get cocaine from my hairdresser," Jade suggested.

"No thank you."

"I think you're outvoted Sam," Trina told her.

"Vegas it is," Tori smiled. This earned cheers from the other bridesmaids (sans Sam).

"Babe," Jade's husband Beck came onto the screen. "I need the computer."

"Fuck off, Beck," Jade snarled.

"Come on, I can't handle those kids!"

"Then maybe you should have thought twice before knocking me up."

"You're not gonna let that go."

"You shoulda worn a condom!"

"The first time it was because you didn't take your pill!"

"Hi," Sam waved, "I don't wanna interrupt but I'd just like to say that Beck, is it Beck?" Beck nodded, "you're hot."

"Thank you," Beck smiled at her. "It's nice to know someone appreciates me."

Jade glared at Sam. "This conversation never happened. See you when we go to Vegas."

"You're going to Vegas?" Beck asked as Jade exited the chat.

"Well, it's been fun," Trina yawned, "but I'm workin' now so I need to do my work thing," Trina exited the chat.

Sam, Tori, and Cat remained. "What else can we talk about?" Cat smiled.

"How are things with you and Robbie?" Tori asked.

"Good! Did he tell you he's taking me to Knott's Berry Farm for our engagement anniversary?"

"The theme park?"

"Yeah, I didn't know it was a theme park either, I thought it was a berry farm!" Cat giggled, but then she abruptly shushed them. "But I'm not supposed to know about it."

"Engagement anniversary?"

"The anniversary of when we became engaged!"

"That's kinda sweet," Sam complimented.

"Yeah, he's sweet and stuff," Cat brushed her hair back as she romantically laughed. There was a car honk from Cat's portion. "Ooh, Robbie's home! I'm gonna go shower."

"Shower?"

"Bye!" Cat exited the chat.

And then there were two, for now. "Well, I'm gonna go…do stuff," Sam left the chat as Tori waved goodbye. "Maybe I should talk to Jade's hairdresser." Sam shook her head. "No, no; I'm not that desperate."

* * *

><p><strong>I made a change here. In the scene where they talk about the bachelorette party, they're talking over the phone; in here, they're talking over the internet (makes things a helluva lot easier). You may have noticed I gave Beck a part. You never see Rita's husband and Jade is the Rita equivalent btw. However, Beck is a huge part of <strong>_**Victorious**_** and you can't leave him out; I didn't leave Andre out either and he didn't have a designated role. Oh, I also included things in the trailer that weren't in the movie. The Beck deal and Cat's conversation about her engagement anniversary are my ideas though.**

**And that's all I have to say about that. Feel free to review if you'd like.**


	6. Heading to Vegas

**AHHHH MY COMPUTER SUCKS! Okay, there were issues of no internet, bad Microsoft word, writer's block, and losing both the document and forgetting about the movie itself. Fret not, I own the movie now (yay!) and can watch it while typing so I get the scene right. I believe now it's the airplane scene. And I owe you guys that.**

**Oh, and I'll stop at a certain point because the next chapter will be a bit intimate.**

**Moving on, here's the airplane part featuring one of my favorite characters as the crazed passenger and a popular recurring character to fill in the role of Air Marshal Jon.**

* * *

><p>Five of the ladies strutted like models as they boarded the plane. One on the other hand…not so much.<p>

Carly took notice of Sam. "Sam, you don't look so good."

"I know."

"You should go take a nap once you get to your seat."

"Yeah…I should…can we drive to Vegas?"

"It's a little late to ask about driving now that we're on the plane."

"If the plane crashes, you'll protect me right?"

"Of course."

"Cool."

"Welcome aboard," the flight attendants greeted as they checked the tickets. "You're seated right over there." The bald flight attendant looked at the bridal party's tickets. "First class is through that curtain, and your seat," he directed the second part to Sam, "is right there beside that gentleman."

"Good luck," Carly hugged her friend as she followed the others to the first class section.

Tori looked at Carly. "You okay?"

"I feel so bad. I should be back there with her and not in first class. God, I feel so terrible."

"Carls, it's your weekend, you're treating yourself and you need to relax. And I offered to pay for her to sit in first class, but she said no; she was just too proud. I promise she'll be fine, she'll make friends too. There's a much better sense of community in coach."

Sam watched Tori and Carly pal around with jealous look as she sat beside a crazy haired hippie. "I'm Henry the eighth, I am," he greeted.

She turned to him confused. "Excuse you."

He made a loud buzz noise. "That is not a technical song title."

"No, it's not."

"We are talking only in song titles. Did you not get the message?"

"I did not."

"Yes well, let's restart. Tell me your name."

Sam sighed. "Sorry Henry, I don't think my name as a song."

"My name is not Henry. It is Erwin Sikowitz."

"I'm Sam Puckett."

"GOOD GANDHI!"

"What?"

"I had a vision while drinking coconut milk," Sikowitz rambled, "I was on a plane, just like this one. I was sitting beside a blonde with the name Sam Puckett and as we were chatting, the plane crashed into the Rocky Mountains."

"WHAT?"

Sikowitz chuckled. "Relax Henry, that won't happen." Sam felt herself tense up and she clutched onto her armrests.

Meanwhile in first class, Jade and Cat took a seat beside each other in the back, Carly and Tori sat beside each other near the front, and Trina got a look at who she was sitting beside. "Great, I got a loser."

"Wow," the nerdy guy looked up at her, "you do meet better people in first class."

"Whatever, don't talk to me." She opened the shelf above their seat.

"There's plenty of room for your carry-ons; I didn't bring anything," he made a sort of self-satisfaction noise, "'cept for my air marshal badge," he flashed his air marshal badge at Trina. "See that; Air Marshal van Cleef. Sinjin van Cleef."

"Whatever," Trina scoffed as she sat down.

"I'll make sure to protect you."

"What did I say about not talking to me you weirdo?"

Sinjin looked down at her feet. "I can see through your flip-flops that you bleach your feet," Sinjin took off his shoes, "as do I."

"Put your shoes back on you freak!"

"I hate to be rude, but I'm the air marshal and I have the authority."

"It's fake."

Sinjin felt kind of crushed. "No it's not! I'm a real air marshal!"

"Just put your shoes back on!" Sinjin sighed and put his shoes back on. "Don't bother me fake air marshal Sinjin van…whatever; I'm gonna take a beauty nap."

"I'm a real air marshal."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that."

"But I am a real air marshal."

"Shut up."

Sam made a freaked out noise as she ran into first class. "Carly, I heard a noise."

"Sam, that was the plane taking off," Carly assured. "Sam, you really should be sitting down."

"Miss," a female flight attendant went over to them, "we're ascending and you need to get back to your seat."

"Can you give me like a sec or two?" Sam asked with panic.

"No, you need to return to your seat."

Tori pulled some pills out of her purse. "Sam, I have something that might help. Take two of these, you'll fall asleep and we'll be there before you know it. Trust me, they're totally safe."

"Hey," the flight attendant was getting peeved, "get back to your seat."

"Okay, okay!" Sam took two pills from Tori and ran back to her seat in coach.

And as Sam ran backed to coach, she passed Jade and Cat who were having a less than child friendly conversation. Jade made a 'tsk' sound. "I can't believe you've never slept with anybody else."

Cat smiled. "Just Robbie!"

Jade let out a bitter laugh. "Bitch, I feel bad for you." Cat looked at her with both confusion and upset. "You don't even know what you want."

"I love Robbie!"

"Good for you."

"Well…" Cat didn't say anything after that.

"I knew your sex life sucked."

"No, it's really good, and he's really good too. It's just," Cat was lowering her voice so no one else could hear, "Robbie can only have sex in bed, in the dark, and under the covers. But we can only have sex after we've both showered…separately. Sometimes by the time we're done cleaning ourselves, he's too tired. So I pretend I'm tired, but I'm not. I'm not tired!" Cat let out a deep breath, "I've never told anyone about my sex life."

"I'm so thrilled you told me first," Jade was being sarcastic.

"Thank you," Cat assumed she was being sincere.

"Well, that's why every girl needs those slutty college years. You gotta experiment, get it out of your system; find out what you like."

"I like Robbie." Jade moaned in annoyance. "Um, flight attendant person," Cat stopped the passing stewardess, "can I have a glass of alcohol please?"

"What kind of alcohol?" The stewardess asked.

"There are different kinds of alcohol?"

"Two double seven and sevens," Jade ordered for them.

"That's alcohol?"

"You'll like it, it's sweet."

"I've never had alcohol before."

"Really? I never would have guessed." Jade was again being sarcastic, but (again) Cat couldn't tell.

Sam was trying to get comfortable back at her seat after taking the pills. "Could you answer my question?"

"Depends."

"If I go to the bathroom, would I get suck into the toilet?"

"Please don't talk to me."

Sam was pleasantly surprised to see Tori come back to coach to check on her. "Hey, how's it going?"

"I don't think whatever you gave me worked. It's like I have too much adrenaline or something?"

"Oh, well why don't you try taking my scotch," Tori handed Sam a small glass of scotch with a straw. "It'll give it the kick that it needs. Honestly, I do it all the time since I got married."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, and I'm kinda smaller than you so you'll handle it."

Sam was too anxious to be mad at Tori for implying she was fatter. "Okay, thanks." Tori patted her shoulder and left. Sam took a sip and made a sour face. "Wow, that's kinda strong."

"I'm no expert, but I think it would be better if you tossed it back and drank it all."

"You would?"

"How would I know, I'm not an expert."

Sam drank the scotch in one gulp. Afterwards she made another sour face. "Ooh boy, that's strong."

In first class, Jade and Cat were still carrying on their conversation. "So you don't even have sex anymore?"

"Oh no I have sex constantly," Jade explained. "Sex with me and Beck is constant. But he hasn't kissed me in two years."

"Oh. But what are you doing when you're having sex?"

"Thinking about other…things, and wishing it would stop. Sometimes I wanna watch my shows without him entering me."

"That sounds a little bit like rape."

"Call it what you want, he's still good at it."

The curtain beside them pulled back and a spaced out Sam entered first class. "Jade, did Sam have any alcohol?"

"Don't know, don't care."

Sam headed over to Carly and Tori. "…that real place from the _Hangover_?" Carly was asking. Tori nodded. "So you-" Carly stopped when she felt someone playing with her hair. "Hey Sam. How are you?"

"I'm good," Sam seemed drunk, "and much more relaxed- thanks a lot Tori. I feel excited, and relaxed, and I'm ready to PAR-TAY!" Sam started slurring a song and doing a horrible dance as the male flight attendant came over to them.

"Miss, you can't be up here," he informed.

"Hello baldy, you look like my grandpa." Sam was wobbling around. "I just wanna be here with my friends, my buddies, my amigo-ettes."

"Can't she stay here for like five minutes?" Carly asked.

"Absolutely not," he declined. "Coach passengers are not allowed in first class; it's policy."

"This is a very strict plane," Sam commented. Then she started doing a certain march. "Welcome to Nazi Germany with a bald Hitler."

"Sam, why don't you go take a nap?" Carly requested.

"I can't hear you Carls, I'm gonna take a nap."

"Okay, go take a nap."

"Catch ya on the flip side mother fuckas!" Sam's comment shocked the first class passengers.

"I am so sorry," Carly apologized to the flight attendant.

"I'm leaving," Sam drew back the curtains. "The blue things should be open 'cause it's civil rights. This is the 90's."

"No it's not," the flight attended drew back the curtains.

"Oh my God Tori, what did you give her?" Carly questioned.

"They're not illegal or anything," Tori defended. "They're relaxants."

Unbeknownst to them, Sam had went around to the curtains on the other side and came back wearing big, dark sunglasses and still walking funny. She took a seat beside a business man on a phone. But the flight attendant still noticed her. "Okay, this is getting old."

"Uh no, it's not me." Sam tried to fake an accent now. "I'm with him; I'm Mrs…this guy."

"Um, no you're not. Get back to your seat."

"I don't wanna."

Tori went over to them. "Sir, she can have my seat. Everyone should experience first class once in their lives and Sam shouldn't miss out just because she can't afford it."

"That's not allowed," the attendant replied.

Sam tugged on his shirt. "Help me, I'm poor."

Carly was now trying to help. "We're a whole wedding party. I'm the bride, she's the maid of honor, and she's obviously nervous flying. Maybe if you gave her the seat, she'd calm down."

"I understand, but I'm afraid I can't do that," he continued on.

"Just…everyone go back to their seat," Sam ordered.

"Yeah, and you especially."

"Whatever you say…Stove."

The flight attended sighed. "It's Steve."

"Are you an appliance?"

"No, I'm a man, and my name is Steve."

"You're bald."

"Yes I am, now close the curtains and get back to your seat."

Steve passed a patient Sinjin as Trina stepped out of the bathroom. Trina looked upset with Sinjin. "Out of my way, loser!"

"Hey, I heard those other girls talking behind us about naughty stuff," Sinjin tried to put on a 'sexy face'. "Wanna get back in that bathroom and do some sex?"

"EW NO!" Trina stomped on his foot as she passed him and returned to her seat.

"Hey, I got something in my pants; maybe you'd like to find it."

"EW!"

"I meant my gun! I'm an air marshal."

"You are not!"

"But I am!"

"SHUT UP!" Trina slumped back in her seat and decided to listen to the conversation behind her between Jade and Cat.

"I don't…" Jade (and Cat) was drunk, "I don't want you to be a big fuck-up like me."

"But you're not."

"You can still turn it around," Jade's hand was flailing.

"NO!" Cat took Jade's flailing hand, "You are more beautiful than Cinderella! You smell like pine needles, and have a face like sunshine!"

"Your hair is like those cupcakes I hate."

As this went on, an upset (still spaced out) Sam was back in coach staring at her surroundings when Sikowitz tapped her on the shoulder. "Good Gandhi do you see what I see?" He pointed out the window and onto the wing of the plane.

Sam's eyes went wide. "Oh my God!"

"I thought so; I'm going to take a nap, nothing to worry about."

"Worry!" Sam ran up and to the back of the plane.

A ding came over the plane and Steve started to speak. "Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see the captain has turned on the 'fasten seatbelts' sign. It appears we've hit a rough patch of weather so please-"

Another ding. "I have something to say too! There's a colonial woman on the wing…"

"Oh crap," Steve threw down the phone and ran toward coach.

"SAM!" Carly got up and headed to coach.

Sinjin held up his badge. "REMAIN CALM, I'M AN AIR MARSHAL!" He followed Steve.

Trina scoffed, "Yeah right." She stood up. "I asked for coffee two minutes ago." She groaned. "I'll have to get it myself!"

"…there's something they're not telling us," Sam's voice rang over the plane, "and she's churning butter. WHAT ARE THEY NOT TELLING US?"

"GOOD GANDHI, COACH IS OUT OF PEANUTS!" Sikowitz screamed. "THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE REALLY NOT TELLING US!"

Amidst all this chaos and chasing- and even a steamy lip-lock between Cat and Jade- Sam threw the phone down and ran away. As she ran, Trina was walking back with her coffee. Unfortunately, the two collided. And of course, Trina was upset over one thing. "YOU SPILT MY COFFEE!"

...

After the plane landed somewhere in Oregon (and Sam was escorted off by Sinjin and Steve), the bridal party was forced to charter a bus back home to Los Angeles. This time, Carly was sitting beside Sam, and Sam seemed to be better.

"Carly, I am so sorry," Sam apologized. "Let me make it up to you, please." Carly said nothing. "Anyway, your bridal shower is going to be great and-"

"Sam, I feel like this has been really overwhelming for you and it's making you kinda crazy."

"No, Carly, I'm fine."

"No, you're not fine. Look, we need things to run smoothly, and I think it's best if I let Tori plan the shower."

"What?"

"Yeah, she likes doing these kinds of things, and she can obviously afford it. This way, you don't have to plan anything and you can just relax, and-"

"I get it," Sam felt crushed.

"I think it'd be best. From here on out; for the shower, and…for everything."

"Yeah, whatever," Sam tried to fight back tears. "It's probably best, and if it makes you happy…whatever." The two of them didn't speak to each other after that.

…

After coming back to Los Angeles, Sam was upset, heartbroken, and she felt she needed someone to talk to. So instead of going back to her apartment, she drove out farther until she came across a familiar cop car. "Hey."

Freddie was pleasantly surprised to see her. "Hey!"

"Listen, um…do you wanna hang out?"

* * *

><p><strong>Perfect moment to stop huh? Well, this seems longer, and I hope it is 'cause I felt I owed you a long chapter. <strong>

**And with keeping in character, I adjusted Trina's role on the plane and her colliding with the Annie character. I couldn't decide who should be air marshal and when I gave up and chose Sinjin, I needed to make some adjustments for the airplane scenes. I think it worked, did you guys?**

**So feel free to comment, question, review, whatever. Any feedback is good.**


	7. The Maid of Dishonor Hits Bottom

**Much love, much love to all! I'm in such a good mood lately. One reason is I'm getting caught up on most of my fanfics, I finally had fast food after not having it for five months, and it's OCTOBER! YAY!**

**It might sound selfish, but my birthday's the 27****th**** and I turn 19. Last year, when I turned 18 (and the year before that), I didn't really get a birthday and this year it sounds like I'm gonna. So, that's what I'm most looking forward to.**

**Such I'm in a fantastic mood, I've decided to quickly do a new chapter of this and trust me Seddie fans, you'll sorta like it. Oh, and I put more than just the Seddie stuff because I needed Sam to hit bottom and if it was just Seddie stuff, it'd be too short.**

**Moving on…**

* * *

><p>Freddie took Sam to a bar and grill he hung out frequently went two. With him being popular, he had his own special table near the bar where he and Sam were seated. "And now I'm on the no-fly list," Sam was concluding her story. Freddie burst into laughter. "Dude, it's not funny! The U.S. government thinks I'm like a terrorist or something."<p>

"It's a little bit funny."

Have you ever been kicked off of a plane?"

"I can't say that I have."

"Yeah, well it's not funny. Plus Carly and the other girls hate me right now."

"So you're like the maid of dishonor?"

"Ha, ha," Sam sarcastically laughed. "I just hope Carly doesn't stay mad at me for too long."

"I doubt she will. You and Carly have been friends forever and you've guys have gotten through worse."

"I hope you're right. But I just wished things were the way they used to be. I feel like her life is going off and getting perfect and mine is just…" Sam made a fart noise with her tongue.

"Your life will turn around."

"Yeah right."

"I know it will. You should do something that makes you happy. Maybe you should bake."

"Sorry Freddo, that doesn't make me happy anymore."

"Just because you didn't make any money out of it doesn't mean you failed."

"I lost all my money thanks to that bakery. Let's change the subject okay."

"I don't know how you just can't bake anymore. If I wasn't a cop anymore, I would still arrest people." This made Sam laugh. "You still haven't changed since the last time we were really together."

"That was such a long time ago."

"Granted, you still got some baggage, but you're still the same Sam I remember, and love."

"You still love me?"

"I dunno," Freddie honestly answered, "but I've been thinking about you a lot lately."

"Ditto." There was silence for a brief moment. "Wanna go back to your place and do it?"

Freddie snapped his fingers at the waiter. "Check please!"

…

After a passionate night of steamy love making, Sam woke up naked in Freddie's bed. Freddie was sitting on the end of his bed in boxers and a t-shirt. "Morning."

"How long have you been up?"

"Just a little while. Sorry, I got bored and watched you sleep."

"It's cool, and I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?"

"I didn't mean to fall asleep and stay over."

"No, it's cool don't be sorry. In fact, I'm glad it happened."

Sam smiled at him. "Me too."

"Last night was fun."

"Yeah, it was."

"And if you'd care to accompany me to the kitchen, the fun may continue." Sam raised an eyebrow to him. "Not that kinda fun, sorry. I probably should've worded that different."

"Yeah, just a little bit."

"Meet you in the kitchen," Freddie bent down and kissed her cheek before going to the kitchen. Sam quickly got dressed in anticipation and made her way to the kitchen where Freddie was setting up baking supplies. "There you are, my dear." He proudly displayed his stuff. "Your workshop is set." Sam didn't say anything. "I know it's a spur of the moment thing, but I thought maybe if you and I did this together you would be happy."

"Sorry, Freddie."

"Oh come on, you know you want to?"

"No, Freddie."

Freddie shrugged. "Fine, I get it. It was kind of stupid of me, sorry."

"I'm gonna go."

"Sam, I said I was sorry. I don't know what you're getting so upset about."

"Freddie, I've changed since I saw you. You don't know me anymore, and I don't want you to fix me."

"Fix you? Sam, I was trying to do this to make you hap-"

"I don't need your help Fredward."

"Geez Sam, we had such a great time last night and now you're being…like this."

"It's my fault. I shouldn't have come here last night. Last night was a mistake."

"Sam!"

"Sorry Freddie," she left his house and started driving back home. En route, she decided to call Carly.

"_Hey hey, it's Carly Shay. Leave me a message after the beeeep," _it went straight to voicemail.

"Carly, hi, it's me…Sam. I'm sure you're still a little mad at me, but I hope not. The excitement in my life continues. I just slept with a cop…and the cop was Freddie. I slept over and he was totally sweet and nice…and hot. So naturally I ran out as fast as I could. What's wrong with me? I know you're busy and stuff, but please talk to me, when you can. Bye." She hung up and pulled into the driveway of her apartment.

"'Sup Sam," Gibby greeted.

"Hi Gib."

"Happy birthday!" Guppy greeted.

"Gup."

"Hey, you got a package over there," Gibby pointed to a box on the table.

Sam went over to where a pink and white box with a bow was waiting. Inside was some fancy chocolates and a lotion with a French name. There was also an envelope.

"_Please join us at the home of Tori Vega-Chase to celebrate the upcoming nuptials of Carly Shay and Griffin Drew_," once you opened the invite, you heard Tori speak what was written."_Let us shower Carly with gifts and love. RSVP ASAP_," Tori giggled at her last statement.

…

And after that, things started to go downhill for Sam. Her boss forgave her for (constantly) showing up late to work, but when Sam started an argument with a fourteen year old customer and (quite loudly) called the girl a cunt, that put an end to her job.

Then came a voicemail message from Freddie. "_Sam, it's Freddie…again. Since you're not returning any of my calls, I assume you're interested in not spending any more time with me. And whatever, that's fine. Don't worry, I won't be bothering you ever again. And get your damn taillights fixed_." Sam put her phone away and silently slumped in her seat before going into her apartment.

"Hey Sam," Gibby and Guppy were waiting for her. "Can we talk?"

"Sure."

Gibby cleared his throat. "We'd like to invite you to no longer live with us."

"What?"

"We decided it was kinda immature for a pair of grown-up brothers to be living with a female roommate; particularly one who's a lesbian."

"I'm not a lesbian!"

"Well, it'd still look a bit silly for us, and we're gonna live together alone, without you."

"So you're kicking me out?"

"Happy birthday!" Guppy shouted.

…

Once Sam pulled into the driveway, Melanie came out to lend her a hand. Sam was trying to fight back tears. "Remember when you thought I hit bottom? Well, that wasn't bottom?"

"Oh Sammy," Melanie hugged her sister. "Don't worry, I'm here for you. And I'm glad you're moving in. We're gonna have lots of fun. Oh, and you have perfect timing; the movie _Love Story _came in on the Netflix." Sam dropped her things and hugged her sister. Melanie clutched her sister tightly and stroked her hair.

"I don't know what I'd do without you Mel."

"Sam."

"Yeah?"

"The box you dropped is really heavy and it's cutting off circulation on my foot."

Sam let go of the embrace and snatched up the box. "Sorry."

"Come on, let's go watch _Love Story_."

"Can we watch a non girly blood-shedding horrorfest instead?"

"How about we watch our favorite movie?"

"_A Bug's Life_?"

"It's the only thing we ever agreed to watch together." Melanie put her arm around her sister's shoulder and led her into the house. "I'll make you your favorite sandwich?"

"Large?"

Melanie laughed. "You bet."

* * *

><p><strong>Geez, endings are not my strong suit. Well, I wanted to get this up while I'm in a good mood and am on a fanfic streak (we'll see how long it'll last).<strong>

**So yeah, any feedback is good and I'd love to hear how this is going. I'm gettin' some nice feedback on me keeping them in character, and that's what I like to hear most because when you take one story and put it in an entirely different plot, the hardest thing to do is keep them in character and that's a big thing for me. Questions are also good too. And send me movie suggestions if you'd like, maybe I'd do one if I can get a good structure/outline. It never hurts to try.**

**And that's all I have to say 'bout that. And yeah, I do recommend **_**Love Story**_**. It might be really sappy, but it's sweet…and it's good if you love love and a good weeper movie.**


	8. Bridal Shower Breakdown

**Like I said, October is a good month. I is happy!**

**So to make others happy, here's the next part featuring a hilarious breakdown, and then a not so hilarious conclusion to a fight. But then if you saw the movie, you know what's coming. This is arguably **_**my**_** favorite part of the movie (the scene at the bridal shop coming in second). And I put in an additional part where a mentioned character makes his only appearance in the last part of this longer chapter.**

**Here's the breakdown scene. Warning, there will be a huge use of naughty language (but we usually like that anyway, don't we readers?).**

* * *

><p>Melanie's reputation of never being late preceded her for she had arrived for Carly's bridal shower a full hour and a half earlier alone. Sam- on the other hand- was a good half hour or so late as she pulled into the extremely large driveway.<p>

A butler was waiting at the midway point. "Are you a guest of Miss Tori Vega-Chase?"

"Yeah, but-"

"An attendant will meet you at the stables; the shower is over the second bridge." He handed her a glass. "Pink lemonade?"

"Sorry, I don't have a cup holder and-" he handed her the drink and went to the car behind her. Sam struggled to drive and hold the large glass while not wanting to drink Tori's lemonade. Still it was sitting in her hand and it did look good, so she did drink it. "Damn, that's good lemonade." Once she made it to the stables, she handed another butler her empty glass as she was helped onto a white horse and escorted to a giant estate. "Whoa!"

"Yeah, and this is the 'smallest' guest house," the man helped her off the horse and rode back.

"Do I tip you or something?" Sam called to him.

"No!"

"Kay, cool!" She headed into the guest house quickly regretting it the moment she walked in.

French music was playing, champagne was being served, there was a small model of the Eiffel Tower modeled in the center of the backyard, and (to make her feel worse) there was a giant cookie with Carly and Griffin's name on it next to a giant chocolate fountain.

"Hi!" Cat waved Sam over toward her. "Isn't this like the most bestest bridal shower ever?" She held up a beret. "You get one of these pretty hats as party favors!"

"Yeah, it's-"

"Ooh, the fancy cheese is back!" Cat ran toward the food table leaving Sam alone.

Sam continued walking forward, snatching a glass of champagne as she glanced around at the Parisian theme. _Her _Parisian theme, the theme Tori was getting all the credit for. "Sam!"

Sam turned to see Carly coming towards her. "Hi!"

Carly hugged her best friend. "You're here!"

"Well, I was invited."

"I know I just meant it like…you arrived." Carly looked around. "Isn't this amazing?"

"It's nice, I guess. Hey, are we okay?"

"Yes! And I'm sorry I haven't called, Tori and I have been so busy planning the wedding."

"Oh."

"Well, I gotta go play hostess and say hi to people; I mean, they came here to see me so-"

"Do what you have to do," Sam assured as her friend went off. She chugged down her champagne, and flagged the server down again to take another glass and chug that down. "Keep 'em comin'," she instructed as she took another glass.

"Attention ladies!" Tori stepped in the large doorways looking like a model (as usual). "It's time for our bride-to-be to open her presents in the living area!" The women flocked into the house as Tori led Carly to an expensive looking couch to open presents.

And for the next fifteen minutes, that's what Carly was doing. She finished opening one present. "Wow, Jade," she didn't know what to think of the human skull with a veil on it Jade had given her, "it's…creative."

"There's money in the skull's eyes," Jade added. "I woulda put in a hundred bucks, but I didn't wanna cook last night."

"Well, it's an interesting gift, thank you." Carly picked up another present, a colorfully decorated box with a red bow. "I know who this is from." She smiled at Sam, and Sam smiled back. "Ever since she was forced to take a class on wrapping, Sam's been making her own fun little wrapping paper." Carly opened it and gasped with delight. "Oh, Sam!" She held up the box. "This is a collage of things me and Sam like. Oh, you made this?"

"A-yup!" Sam nodded.

Carly opened the box. "Oh my God!" In the box were pictures of the two friends among other miscellaneous items. "This is all my favorite stuff from stores I love in Seattle." She chuckled as she held up a CD. "The soundtrack to _Dirty Dancing_?"

"That's a real movie?" Trina asked.

"I remember when I first got my license I played the song _'I've Had the Time of My Life'_ over and over and we used to sing along to it. Sam would so generously sing the male part while I took the female solo. I felt bad because I didn't have a credit card and couldn't buy the entire soundtrack online or find it in the stores, so I downloaded that one song onto my _Pear-Pod_. Sam, thank you so much, this is like the best gift I've ever gotten."

"Aww," Tori put her hand on her heart, "it really is. And I feel bad that I didn't get you a present because I was so busy planning your shower."

"It's cool, Tori."

"Well, at least take this," Tori handed Carly an envelope. "It's a card with my congratulations, but it's not handmade or anything."

"Well with or without a present you've still…" Carly stared down at the envelope in shock, "…Oh my God."

"What is it?" Melanie inquired.

"Tori's taking me to Paris."

Most of the women gasped with delight as Sam took deep breaths and tried her best not to clench her hands into fists. "I faked you out!" Tori was laughing. "It's a pre-wedding vacay where I'm taking Carly to meet the designer of her wedding dress, Madame Geneviève St. Pierre."

"Thank you so much," Carly hugged Tori, "this is my dream come true and it's all because of you."

Sam couldn't take it anymore. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Sam!" Melanie tried to protest.

"Shut up Mel. Fucking Paris, France? Tori, I told you about her wanting to go to Paris! I told you this whole idea and you basically said it sucked!"

"Sam, calm down," Carly calmly instructed her friend.

"What, you're gonna go to Paris with Tori now? What woman gives another woman a trip to Paris, am I right? Lesbian! We're all thinking it are we?"

"I wasn't," Cat admitted.

"Actually, I was," Trina confessed.

"Carly this is not the you that I know! The you that I know would've walked in here and rolled your eyes at the over-the-top display here! Look at this shower! Look at that fucking cookie! Did you really think that this group of high-class, prissy ass women would eat that? You know that reminds me, I didn't get a chance to try that FUCKING COOKIE!" Sam stomped outside shouting, "THAT STUPID FUCKING COOKIE!" Carly followed her (and the ladies went to the window to watch this) as Sam ate a huge mouthful of cookie and then kicked and punched it. Sam even picked up the cookie and smashed it onto the grass. "IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT CARLY?" Sam took a fork and jabbed it into the Eiffel Tower model before running off throwing and knocking food onto the ground.

"This is so awesome," Tori's step-daughter Annie commented as she watched this fiasco.

"Let's have some nice, hot, unsanitary chocolate!" Sam threw food from the ground into the fountain and tried to push over the giant fountain- to no avail." So Sam spit into the chocolate fountain.

Carly had had enough and ran over to Sam. "Have you lost your mind? What the hell are you doing?"

"What the hell am I doing?" Sam yelled back. "You wouldn't know! You haven't been there! Ever since you got engaged everything's turned to shit!"

"This is supposed to be about me and my time! You have managed to ruin every event in my wedding- thank you very much!"

"Okay well thank you very much! This is all Tori's fault, not mine! And you would know that if you got your head out of your asshole. In fact out of her asshole- which I'm sure is perfectly bleached."

"You know what, it is! And wanna know how I know? Because I went to the salon with her and got mine bleached too. And I love my new asshole! Why can't you just be happy for me and then go home and talk bad behind my back like a NORMAL PERSON?"

"I am happy for you, Carly," Sam calmly explained. "I am very happy for you. I wish you well. And since I've been nothing but a burden, I won't bother you anymore." Sam stormed off into the house, grabbed her keys, and was about to leave as the ladies assembled to keep watching this breakdown.

"Free puppy?" A butler at the door was holding a beagle puppy that Sam was about to take.

"She does not get a party favor!" Carly caught up with Sam. "She does not get a dog!"

"I didn't want one anyway!" Sam retorted back childishly.

"And if you're gonna act like this, don't even bother coming to my wedding!" Sam turned around one last time to give Carly a quick glare before stomping off- both of them trying not to cry at what had happened.

"I'm proud of you Carls," Tori quietly stated.

"SHUT UP TORI!" Carly faced the guests. "Anyone else have anything they want to share today?"

Trina raised her hand. "Yeah, I took a few dogs already and I stashed them in this new van I bought. That cool, 'cause I don't you want to freak the freak out on me." Trina took a deep breath. "Wow, this sharing this feels pretty cool. I think from now on-"

"SHUT UP TRINA, NOBODY LIKES YOU!"

"Well," Trina grabbed her purse and left.

…

Sam was driving home in an upset rage trying not to cry when her car began to slow down. "No, not now!" As she tried to adjust this, Trina drove by in her new van showing off her many beagle puppies. This caught Sam's attention, instead of the animal trying to cross the road. "OH MY GOD!" She quickly slammed her foot onto the brake…as another car slammed into her and then drove off. "REAL CLASSY ASSHOLE!" She shouted to the car. "I'M GONNA FIND YOU!" She tried to get her car going to (yet again) no avail. "EVENTUALLY!" She slumped back in her seat and stared off. "Shit."

…

Calling the police for help, the last person Sam expected to help was Officer Freddie Benson himself. Freddie sighed. "I can't say I'm surprised; I told you to get those taillights fixed."

"I know," she quietly admitted.

"And here we are now," he feigned a smile.

"Look, I've had a horrible day and I don't need a lecture from you right now. Tori-"

"This didn't happen because of Tori. This happened because _you_ didn't get your taillights fixed. Don't go blaming other people for your mistakes." Freddie clenched up the paper he was writing on. "Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to see you drive past me with your fucking taillights broken? You have no idea how crazy that makes me! Your problem is you don't understand how badly you can hurt people…with these broken lights!"

"Yes, I should've gotten my fucking taillights fixed but I didn't…I didn't."

"Don't worry about it; your message was received. What's done is done." He headed back to his car.

"Where are you going?"

"That's how it works."

"Come on!"

"And for the record, _you_ flirted with me. You made me feel like you really cared about me again. Then you came back to my place and we did stuff- fun stuff- and then you just left like it was nothing, like I was nothing."

"Yeah right. I know how guys do…this thing. One minute it means something, the next minute it doesn't-"

"You think you've got it all figured out?"

A silver sports car with tinted windows pulled up onto the scene. The driver rolled the windows down revealing who he was. "Boom!" It was Jonah. He looked at Sam. "'Sup sex buddy? Call for some roadside assistance?" He saluted Freddie. "Thanks officer; I can handle it from here."

Freddie stared at the good-looking, well-off jerk before looking at Sam. "OH COME ON!" He went back to his car.

"I didn't have anyone else to call!" Sam defended. "And I didn't know you were gonna show up!"

"That's the problem with cops, Sam; we're just never there when you need us!" Freddie got into his car and took off.

"That cop's weird," Jonah commented as Sam watched Freddie drive away. "Tick tock Blondie, I got crap to do; get in the car." Sam reluctantly got into his car. Jonah sped off and took his hands off the wheel. "Look who's steering the car? That cool?" No response. "Whatevs," Jonah put his hands back onto the wheel.

"Thanks again for picking me up," Sam thanked him. "You weren't busy or anything?"

"It is Friday." He noticed Sam. "You look tired. And if you are you can totally lay down…on my lap."

"What?"

"Take a little lap nap." He raised his eyebrows implying something else. He then confirmed this by pointing to his crotch area and making a rocket whistling noise. "Open for biz-nass," he thought it'd be cool to say the word 'business' like that.

"Pull over!"

"Actually, that's a better idea," he was about to pull over when he locked the doors.

"No, I want out."

"Out of what?"

"The car! I'd rather stay out here in this area and be murdered than suck your cock for the next thirty minutes!"

"I would never last thirty minutes."

"STOP THE CAR!" Jonah did what she instructed and Sam slammed the door as she got out and walked.

"If you're trying to turn me on, it's working!"

"Go away creep!"

"Fine, we're done," he started driving off. "YOU'RE NO LONGER MY NUMBER THREE!"

And by this point, Sam didn't care if she was brutally murdered in this bad area, at least then she might be able to feel something.

* * *

><p><strong>Poor Sam. Well, now that she's hit bottom there's no other way out but up. Good thing Jonah's only in this chapter, he's a douche.<strong>

**And that's all I have to say about that. Hope you appreciated the slightly longer chapter.**


	9. Helpful Advice

**In response to one review, yes I know it seems like Jade and Beck don't love each other anymore; I kinda realized that too. I can say that I was going to bring Beck back into the story at a later chapter and they're not going to end on such a negative note. But in this story, Beck and Jade are adults, and adult life messes with relationships. Like my mom and stepdad for example. They were a great couple back in the early stages of their relationship, and they love each other (they're still together), but they fight constantly and my mother is always complaining about work, finances, us kids, and how they never spend time together anymore while my stepdad tries to take a more lighthearted look at things and tries not to be serious all the time. I have a feeling that something like that would happen to Beck and Jade in the future, but I promise I'll end them on a happier note because I love them as a couple and I don't like seeing any negative issues between them.**

**Yet for the time being, we still need to focus on Sam as Carly's wedding date approaches.**

* * *

><p>For the next few days, Sam locked herself in her and Melanie's house continuously watching <em>Love Story<em>. Well, not the entire movie, per say. Most of the time she just rewound one particular part.

"_Jenny," Ryan O'Neal was on the screen, "I'm sorry."_

"_Don't," Ali MacGraw tearfully replied back._

"Love means never having to say you're sorry," Sam quoted along with the movie. Once that scene was over, she rewound that part again and quoted along…over and over again.

"You know," Melanie was about to head out the door, "if you've actually watched the ending you'd know after Oliver's father apologizes to him he says the same quote."

"Yeah, but I don't want to watch Jenny die."

"How did you know she died?"

"I spoiled it for myself before I watched the movie."

"Well, good for you." Melanie opened the door. "Hey, I think someone's coming to see you."

"I don't wanna get off the couch."

"Then I'll invite her in." Melanie groaned, "oh great, she brought dogs."

"Dogs?" Sam stood up and went to the door.

"I'm coming in!" Trina assured as she struggled to maintain the leashes of her many puppies. She went into the kitchen and tied the leashes around a chair as she joined Sam in the living room.

"How many dogs did you take?"

"I took nine, you know I did slightly overcommit, but I didn't think half of my maids would quit when I brought the dogs home. Six was probably the most I should've taken, but uh…I did not."

"Clearly."

"It's a lot of energy I just don't have."

"I'm sure it is."

"And you would know that if you'd return my calls."

"And say what, Trina?"

"Say whatever you want. I'll listen to you. Ever since you had your breakdown and you got everything off your chest, I thought maybe I'd feel better if I did that. Then it was like if I did that, other people would spill their problems to me- which means I'd actually have to listen. But you know what, it's all good. It's made me a better person. I mean, I was already perfect and all that, but now I'm like…super perfect. So tell me what you were gonna say, make crap up if you gotta."

"What's there too say anyway? I'm living with my twin sister, barely getting off her couch. I got fired from my job by an alcoholic, kicked out of my apartment by weirdoes, my car is shit, I don't have any friends-"

"See, that's your problem. You say you don't have any friends, but you're wrong. Here's a friend directly in front of you- i.e. me. I'm trying to talk to you, and you choose to say you don't have any friends. Well, I think you just want to pity yourself." Trina stood up and started poking her. "You wanna have yourself a pity party."

"Cut that out!"

"You're being a bitch, Sam." Trina got onto the couch continually poking Sam. For a moment, Sam feared as though Trina was going to climb on top of her.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm life," Trina was metaphorically speaking of course. She continually poked Sam and pushed her onto the couch. "Is life bothering you?"

"What are you doing?" Trina was tickling Sam. "Cut it out!" It now seemed as though Trina was about to get on top of Sam. "WHOA PERSONAL SPACE!" Sam tried to escape by climbing over the couch. Trina then grabbed Sam's legs and threw her over her shoulder. "TRINA WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"I'm life…and I'm going to bite you in the ass." Trina shockingly did as she said she was going to do.

"OW!"

"It's not me doing it, it's life!" Trina managed to lay Sam onto the couch and hold her down. "I'm trying to get you to fight for your life!" She slapped Sam's face. "You won't fight." Then Trina took Sam's hand and used it to hit Sam's own head with. "Why are you hitting yourself? Stop hitting yourself!"

"ENOUGH!" Sam slapped Trina, causing her to back off just a bit for Sam to kick her off of her. "Sorry," she apologized as Trina climbed onto the couch.

"Nice hit," Trina commented as she checked for blood. "See, I knew that Sam was in there somewhere. Now you're ready to hear a story about a girl named Trina. A girl named Trina who was having a hard time in college…and the Trina I'm referring to is me."

"I got that."

"Right, well I'm sure you of all people assume my good looks and amazing talent helped me breeze right through college, but it didn't. The professors were giant dicks and said I had no talent, and no boys would make moves on me no matter how hard I tried to get them to booty call me. The gays wouldn't hang out with me. Once or twice someone threw a firecracker or something on my head. One morning I had to show up early, and the cafeteria wasn't open so I had to go the library and do nothing."

"In the library?"

"Yeah, and the computers weren't open either so I had to read a book." Trina shuddered. "Who reads books anymore?"

"Don't they have magazines?"

"Smart people magazines. Anywho, I was looking for stuff in the downstairs library because I didn't wanna climb stairs and one book fascinated me. It was a book about government jobs and junk I thought, maybe I should get a job in government. So I read more boring books about government and became an intern. Then with a few bribes and actual work, I was recently promoted and I know confidential government secrets- but you don't know I know."

"I don't know anything."

"And I know shit. I can tell you where all the nukes are- a lot of shopping malls- and the codes accessing them, but I won't because I'm paid a lot not to tell. The point is I kept preserving and I didn't let anything get to me, and now I have the highest possible security clearance and I'm filthy rich. I just bought an eighteen wheeler because I could."

"But you're single."

"Or so you think."

"You've got a man…or woman?"

"A man. And I got him by getting out and actually talking and trying to make my life more perfect. Well, it's getting late and I best be off," Trina was about to leave. "Oh, and don't tell people I have a boring government job, I say I work for movie studios."

"Cool."

"Before I go, I just wanna tell you to stop blaming the world; you're your problem, Sam…but you're also your solution."

"Thanks Trina, that actually helps."

"Ta-ta!"

"Wait, what about your dogs?"

…

And Trina's advice actually did help. Sam was working her way up from bottom. For one thing, she was baking now.

She was also showing the people she cared about how much they mean to her. And not just doing more work.

As Melanie was finishing putting her laundry away, Sam came up from behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. When Melanie turned around, Sam gave her a big hug. "Thanks sis, but what was that for?"

"I just wanted to let you know I love you."

"I love you too Sammy," Melanie broke the hug. "Come on; let's go fix your car." Melanie and Sam drove off to _Andy Samburg's Auto Body Shop_. "Andy Samburg?"

"Don't mention that thing," Sam told her as she went inside to the desk in the small lobby. At the desk was a guy a year or so older than her. "Hi, I'm Sam Puckett and I called Andy Samburg."

"That's me," he introduced. "You say you need new brake lights?"

"Yeah."

"Coolness, I'll get right on that."

"Oh, and Officer Freddie Benson sent me."

"Freddie?" Sam nodded. "Cool. If you'd make yourself comfortable I should be done in no more ten minutes."

"Thanks." Sam (joined later by Melanie) waited inside for her car to finish. Sure enough, it did take less than ten minutes. Sam examined her car. "Wow, that's really good. How much do I owe you?"

"Freddie Benson and I worked out a deal with anyone he sends in. So your repair is on the house."

"Really?" Andy nodded. "Thank you so much."

"It's the least I can do. Freddie really helped save my life after he busted me for drunk driving and sent me to AA."

"You went to AA?"

"I still do. I mean, I'm not an alcoholic anymore, but I care about the people and I wanna help them."

Sam turned around. "Hey, Mel!" she gestured for Melanie to join her. "Andy, this is my sister Melanie."

"Hey, I've seen you before."

"You have?" Melanie asked.

"Yeah, you're the lady with the salsa cheese dip mix for those Tortilla chips you always bring."

"Yeah."

"They're so awesome."

"You like them?"

"How do you make them?"

Sam smiled to herself as she watched the interaction between Andy and Melanie. In that instant she didn't need to just make her life better. And maybe the little things can help. So Sam went back home and baked a cake. Once finished, she drove to Freddie's place and left the cake at his door as she ding-dong ditched.

Freddie opened his door slightly irked. "Those damn brats again!" He looked down at the ground expecting flaming dog doo, but instead found a pink box. He opened the box. Inside was a cake shaped like a computer with the words _'I'm Sorry'_ written on it. And then Freddie left the cake on his porch as he went back into his house.

And when Sam drove by the next morning, she found that a couple of raccoons were enjoying her cake.

…

Before she knew it, Carly's wedding day was here. Instead of celebrating and getting ready, Sam stayed in bed.

"Hey," Melanie opened Sam's door, "you sure you're not going?"

"Carly doesn't want me to be there; I'm going to respect her wishes. Just bring me back some cake okay."

"Well, maybe I'll make you some-" Melanie screamed, causing Sam to jump up and see what the problem was. When it was revealed it was just Andy pinching Melanie's butt, Sam gave Melanie a weird look.

"You only had one date and you slept with him?"

"Yeah, he's cute. Bonus, if anything happens to my car he'll fix it for free." Melanie winked at her sister before shutting her door.

Sam groaned and went back to sleep, but even this didn't last long. Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock at the door. "COMING!" She stumbled out of bed and went to the door. When Sam saw who it was, she was going to shut it again.

Tori stopped her from shutting the door. "Hi, I know you have every right to do that to me."

"What do you want?"

"I was wondering if you knew where Carly was."

"No, I don't. But, what do you mean by that?"

"We can't find her; we've looked everywhere. Carly's missing."

"What?"

"Can you help me please?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I know someone who can help. Wait here."

"Can I just-" Sam slammed the door in Tori's face and got ready to search for the bride.

* * *

><p><strong>Good spot to stop wouldn't you think?<strong>

**In the next chapter, Sam and Tori are going to search for Carly. Then there will be one more chapter featuring a wedding. And then, because I almost always do this for movie fanfics and I prefer even numbered chapters, I'm going to create an original epilogue chapter. So I'm documenting this so I can't back out of it, so I need to get thinkin' on ideas.**

**So yep, here's this part, and you've got another three chapters to look forward too. And I wanna say thanks for reading and feedbacking (if that's even a word).**

**Oh and I'm terribly sorry if anyone wanted to see _Love Story _(starring Ali MacGraw as Jenny and Ryan O'Neal as Oliver in case I confused you with names) and I spoiled it. I feel all bad, but even I knew the ending and quote before I saw _Love _Story- thank you romantic movie countdowns.**


	10. Missing Bride Found

**On a fanfic role, thought I'd put this one up. It's a little late, but still I wanted to put this up.**

**Ooh, we've got three chapters left counting this one. Can you feel the end draw near?**

**Btw, thanks for the boost in reviews, it's nice to know people are reading and liking. If I could give you all a hug…I probably wouldn't because sometimes I don't like being touched. I wish I could give you all cookies though.**

**But I can't, so I'm giving you this next chapter (chapter 10)**

* * *

><p>Sam drove off in silence with Tori sitting in the passenger side. "I don't know what could've possibly gone wrong," Tori lamented. "The dress arrived and looked gorgeous, Griffin was being super helpful, and I had organized everything down to the last detail. I just…I have no idea what happened to Carly."<p>

"You should know. I mean _you're_ her best friend, so you should know. You're so close and all that jazz."

"Sam," Tori took a deep breath, "I wanna apologize personally for everything that's happened. I know that I hurt you and I created a distance between you and Carly and I'm sorry."

"Don't wanna hear it."

"I'm sorry for stealing your idea for the shower, and-"

"Honestly, shut up. I don't want to talk to you."

Tori was near tears. "Kevin doesn't wanna talk to me either; he travels a lot and leaves me alone all the time. And I never told anyone this, but he just asked for a divorce."

"I don't feel sorry for you."

"You know I liked that dress you picked out at the bridal shop. It was beautiful and you have lovely tastes."

"Thanks, but seriously shut up."

Tori was almost crying by this point, some tears had formed in her eyes. "And I don't think T-Bo's restaurant gave you food poisoning."

"It did, and the health inspector closed him down. Besides, I shit my pants after eating that food."

"I don't think it was your fault."

"Yes it was."

"I think people ask me to plan things for them because I'm good at planning parties and junk. Once it's over, they don't talk to me until there's another party," tears were starting to fall, "I don't have any real friends." Tori was sobbing, but Sam was laughing. "Why are you smiling?"

"This is the first time I've seen you look ugly. It makes me kinda happy."

"I'm not ugly."

"When you cry you are. I don't know why, but I find it funny. You're an ugly crier."

For some reason, Tori started laughing…and then Sam joined in. Then Sam started driving slower. "Why are you slowing down?"

"That cop, he can help us." Sam drove to the side of Freddie's car. "Freddie!" Freddie rolled up his window. "Freddie! Oh come on, I know you can hear me! Freddie!"

"He's ignoring you?"

"Yeah, and-"

Tori leaned over toward Sam's window. "OFFICER, ROLL DOWN YOUR WINDOW!" Freddie didn't do anything. "EXCUSE ME! PLEASE!"

"Freddie, I know you can hear me, and I know you're mad at me; but I need your help, please." No response. "Fine, if that's how it's going to be."

"Sam, do you know this guy?" Sam didn't answer and started driving off, once she was out of sight, Freddie rolled down his window. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to get his attention." Sam did a U-Turn and speeded off. "RECKLESS DRIVING!" She yelled as she sped.

"Oh crap, my hair! Sam, what are you doing?"

"I'M SPEEDING!" Sam did another U-Turn and passed Freddie. "YOU SHOULD PULL ME OVER!"

"Seriously?" Freddie said to himself.

"Tori, hand me that _Taco Bell _bag and pop can," Tori reluctantly did as Sam requested. Sam then threw the materials out the window. "I LITTERED!" Freddie ignored this and pulled up the Sunday comics. Sam turned around again, but was going slower. Why? Because she had Tori's phone to her ear as she pretended to text with her phone. "TEXTING AND DRIVING!" She pretended someone else was on the other phone as she drove off. This wasn't the end. Sam came back around with an empty wine bottle from her back seat that she was pretending to drink out of. "Num, num, num! DRINKING AND DRIVING!"

"Idiot," Freddie commentated as she turned around again, this time with loud, inappropriate rap music blaring.

"YO!" She pretended to go a gang sign and bob her head while Tori blocked her ears and mouthed 'Help Me' to Freddie.

"Don't care."

Sam drove by speeding again. "SAM, I'M GONNA HURL!" Tori whined.

"Duck down!" Sam commanded as she also ducked down. The car slowly passed Freddie. "Hey, who's driving that car?" Freddie still ignored her. Sam groaned and stopped before turning around. She then pulled off her shirt, revealing nothing on underneath.

"Oh my God!" Tori covered her eyes.

"Hold this," Sam shoved her shirt at Tori and drove past Freddie again. "I'M TOTALLY TOPLESS!" Still, Freddie didn't look (as much). Sam turned around again. "Give me my shirt," Tori handed Sam her shirt and she put it on. "One last time." Sam lightly drove her car into the back of Freddie's squad car.

"Really? Seriously?" Freddie got out of his car.

"I can't believe I'm going to say this," Tori began, "but what the fuck were you doing?"

"Yeah, what were you doing?" Freddie questioned. "ARE YOU CRAZY? All that stuff would've been dangerous for a _good _driver!"

"Sorry," Sam apologized, "but I need your help."

Freddie noticed Tori. "Who's this?"

"Tori."

Freddie waved. "Hello Tori. I've heard…things about you."

"Freddie, we can't find Carly."

"How long as she been missing?"

"Twelve hours."

"Sorry, it's not a missing person unless it's been twenty-four hours. Have you ever seen _CSI_?"

"Freddie, please, I'm desperate. I really, really need your help."

Freddie sighed. "Come with me to the squad car." The girls got out of the car and followed him. "What's her cell number?" Sam pulled out her phone, went to her address book, and handed her phone to Freddie. "Okay, this'll take a minute."

"What'll it do?"

"Trace her cell phone and tell us where her cell phone's located. If we're lucky, she'll be with it." Freddie got a ding. "We traced her cell back to this address," Freddie quickly wrote down the address. "Do you know where that is?"

"Yeah, this is the address to Carly's apartment." Sam turned to Carly. "I thought you looked at Carly's apartment."

"It was the first place I looked," Tori informed.

"So she's at her apartment?" Freddie inquired.

"She must've gone back after I left. Thanks again Officer Freddie; come on Sam, let's go."

"Be right there," Sam assured. She turned back to Freddie. "We found her, yay," this was less enthusiastic.

"Great headline; missing girl found at her apartment."

"It's nice to see you again, and I'm sorry."

Freddie nodded. "I'm glad you got your taillights fixed; now I don't have to stop you."

"SAM, COME ON!" Tori was about to get into the passenger side.

"Anyway, go and save your friend from her apartment. Bye."

"Bye," Sam went back to her car and she and Tori drove off to Carly's apartment. "Hey, when we get there, is it cool if I go in there alone?"

"Yeah," Tori nodded.

…

Sam had a key to Carly's apartment on her keychain, so she invited herself in. "Carly? Carly?" There was a moan coming from the bedroom. "Carls?"

Carly was on her bed under the covers. "Go away!"

Sam sat herself on Carly's bed and lifted her covers making Carly sit up. "What happened?"

"This whole wedding is fucked up," were these words coming out of Carly's mouth? "Tori just took over everything and everything got out of control. And it's been really hard to do without you. It's been…shitty. Last night at the rehearsal dinner I told Griffin I needed to pick up something and I drove here. I realized this is the last time I'm going to be here in this apartment with the couch, this bed, and my bathtub- which I love so much."

"It is a good bathtub; I slept in it on one of my birthdays." There was silence for a moment. "I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I kicked you out of my wedding. It's my fault."

"No, it's my fault. I'm the one with the…mental problems."

"Yeah, wasn't it my turn to be the crazy one?"

"I kinda stole all the crazy." The two friends laughed. "Carly, everything's going to be okay."

"How do you know that Sam? Everything's going to change, and what's worse is I'm not going to live five minutes away from you." Carly was going to cry. "And that's going to be the worst."

"Don't be sad. Things will change, but for the better. You're gonna take this huge step, and I'm gonna be there with you. Griffin loves you, you'll be so happy."

"What about you? What's gonna happen to you?"

"I'm gonna be fine." Sam assured.

"Will you?"

She nodded. "Besides, you need to blaze the trail for me and tell me what's coming."

"You bet, partner!" The two friends hugged each other. "You're coming to the wedding right?"

"Of course, and I'm gonna be right beside you."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Sam pulled away first. "Okay, let's get the dress on."

"Yeah…about that. Go wait in the living room and I'll show you the dress."

"Okay," Sam waited on the couch as Carly put on the dress. "You ready now?"

Carly stepped into the living room wearing a dress of what looked like used tissues, and a large, white, ugly hat from the _Gone with the Wind _era. "Don't you dare laugh." Sam couldn't help but laugh, and then Carly joined in. "Seriously though, I can't wear this!"

"Don't panic, we can fix this. I will not let you walk down the aisle looking like…that. You are going to look perfect, and beautiful, I promise."

"Do you have a chainsaw or something we can use to tweak it with? Maybe a blowtorch?" They laughed. "This wedding is going to be a disaster."

"No. If Tori had anything to do with this wedding, it'll be amazing."

"I hope so, but the dress?"

"What about your mother's dress?"

"My mom's wedding dress? Sam, that's the first dress I thought of. I looked everywhere for it, I don't know where it could be."

"Yeah, but I do know. Remember the little storage area we bought for when we decided to buy our dream house?"

"I put my mother's wedding dress in the storage?"

"It was never in storage. I hid the dress in with me so it would never be ruined in storage, and I might've forgot to tell you."

"Sam! I told you I've always wanted to wear my mom's dress."

"I was gonna ask you about that, but you wanted to wear the fancy dress Tori was going to get. Your mom's dress is back at mine and Melanie's place and it's all clean and pretty for you."

"But-"

"Your measurements have never changed, so I had it altered for you. Let's go get your dream dress and then you can have your dream wedding."

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, there was no way they could've fixed the dress Maya Rudolph wore in the movie, so I created a fake back-up. And no, Helen wasn't getting a divorce in the movie, but I have something special planned for Tori so rest assured, she'll get something good.<strong>

**Two chapters to go…the excitement is palpable huh?**


	11. The Wedding

**I know this is a super-fast update, but I couldn't resist. I figured the movie portion was practically over, so I'd get this part of the fanfic over before I go into an original ending thing that I usually do.**

**So here's Carly's wedding and all that jazz.**

* * *

><p>Tori had truly outdone herself. Carly's wedding was outdoors in front of a giant fake waterfall. The aisle was a small one that made it look like you were walking on water to the altar and behind the altar (and in front of the fake waterfall) was a swimming pool. And technically the altar was a small, thin stage. The chairs were comfortable white folding chairs, and the reception would be at the country club nearby where the wedding was taking place.<p>

Coming down the aisle first was the pair of bridesmaids and groomsmen. In order of bridesmaids were Trina, Cat, Jade, and Tori who took their place on stage right. A gorgeous Sam walked down the aisle solo as she took her place beside Tori. And then a blushing, beaming bride and her proud brother walked down the aisle to where the smiling, happy groom was waiting.

"Dearly beloved," the reverend began, "we are gathered here today to witness the union of Griffin Drew and Carly Shay in Holy Matrimony. If there is any reason these two should not be together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace." No response. "Yeah, I thought so." The reverend turned to Griffin. "Do you Griffin Roy Drew take Carly Miranda Shay to be your lawfully wedded wife? Will you love her, comfort her, and keep her- and forsaking all others, remain true to her- as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," Griffin vowed.

The reverend turned to Carly. "And do you Carly Miranda Shay take Griffin Roy Drew to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you love him, comfort him, and keep him- and forsaking all others, remain true to him- as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," Carly vowed. No sooner had she said that neon lights flashed on the faux-waterfall indicating 'They Did'.

"Then by the powers vested in me I pronounce that these two are man and wife. You may kiss the bride." And no sooner had Griffin and Carly shared their first kiss as husband and wife that fireworks started to fill the air.

And now it was Tori's turn to speak with a microphone she had stored away for some plan. "Ladies and gentlemen, here to sing Carly's favorite song is one of Carly's favorite bands. Give it up for Lady Antebellum!"

"I am not paying for this shit," Spencer muttered as the band took their place on the stage.

Sam turned to Tori with the 'are you kidding me' scowl. "Last one, I promise," Tori assured Sam.

_Now I've had the time of my life_

_No I never felt like this before_

_Yes I swear, it's the truth_

_And I owe it all to you_

As Hillary took the next part after Charles' solo, the bride turned to the maid of honor and flashed a wide smile. After Hillary's solo and the beginning instrumental began, everyone started dancing. Carly and Griffin danced with each other while the bridesmaids danced with each other. And then it got to the beginning of the chorus. That was the part just for Carly and Sam. Together, they did their own little funny dance while Sam lip synched the male solo and Carly did the same with the female solo. And once the chorus was over, the friends hugged each other.

Once the song ended, there was mass applause. As soon as it was over, the band had left and everyone filled into the reception hall where the food and DJ was waiting inside.

"Seriously," Carly swallowed the cake she was eating as she was talking to Sam, "best wedding ever. Griffin and I should get divorced just so we could do this again."

"See I told you it would be amazing," Sam told her. "And I have to admit, Tori is a pretty cool person."

"I feel kind of bad for her, Kevin didn't show up you know."

Sam noticed Tori on the dance floor chatting it up with Andre, the guy who had been confused for Sam's man twice at the engagement party. "Yeah, but I think she'll be okay." For the first time since she met her, she saw Tori laugh. "She'll be okay."

"Weddings always do bring out the best in people," Carly observed Jade dancing with Beck on the dance floor, and she was actually smiling and enjoying herself. "Griffin's waiting to dance with me," Carly set down her plate of cake on the table behind her. "Hey, when I throw the bouquet, catch it."

"No promises." Sam watched her friend happily run off to the dance floor and dance with her new husband. In response, Sam stole Carly's plate of food and ate the cake. "Damn good cake."

"Hi!" Cat ran up to her. "Wasn't this like the most prettiest wedding ever?"

"You know what Cat, it was. I don't think you'd see a better wedding in a movie."

"Hey, you're the only bridesmaid without a date. Aww, phooey!"

"Cat, I'm fine really and…wait, Trina brought her new guy with her."

"Uh-huh, she also brought her dogs. Look see," Cat pointed to Trina cutting a rug on the dance floor with her man (and three of her dogs surrounding her).

Sam squinted. "Is that the creepy air marshal?" Cat nodded. "Wow, Trina really seemed to have lowered her standards."

"She's happy though. And do you know what would make me happy?"

"If I had a date to the wedding."

"No if you would stop being a chatterbox and let me dance with my husband." Cat pointed to Robbie, who was waving like an idiot at her.

"Go ahead."

"YAY!" She ran into Robbie's arms and they finished off the dance to the current song as the music changed to _Girls Just Wanna Have Fun_.

"This one's for the ladies only," the DJ informed as the men left.

Carly went to the center of the dance floor as the bridesmaids circled around her and started dancing. "Sam, come on!" Carly called.

"What the hell?" Sam ran to the dance floor and joined her friends in the dance. And after the dance, since the ladies were gathered there anyway, Carly decided to throw the bouquet. And who should catch it but…Trina.

After the bouquet tossing, everyone gave speeches, the final group dances (the YMCA, the chicken dance, the cha-cha slide, etc.) were done and everyone gathered outside as Carly and Griffin walked arm in arm to the limo waiting to take them to the airport for their honeymoon. Sam, who had been eating, had gotten out a little bit later and had to stand behind Cat and Robbie, so she couldn't personally say goodbye to the bride and groom as they walked to the car. That didn't stop Trina though, who nearly tackled her ex-boyfriend/cousin to the ground before they got to the car. Still in the end, Carly could instantly spot her best friend in the crowd. The two of them exchanged glances and smiles and Sam watched as Carly rode off waving to the crowd.

While everyone scattered, Sam stood there still watching the car drive away. As she did, Trina came to her side crying from laughing so hard. "What's so funny Trina?" Sam inquired.

Trina chuckled. "I put a loaded gun in Griffin's carry-on bag."

"You did what?"

"The TSA is going to rip his ass apart. Well, I better get going. I promised Sinjin that I would take him into my eighteen wheeler and let him tape our first sexual encounter."

"Ew!"

"Hey, if I ever become famous, a sex tape will totally boost my status like what happened with Kim Kardashian, or Paris Hilton, or…that other chick who nobody remembers." Trina left.

"Gross."

Jade made her way over to Sam. "Hey, it was fun," Jade commented to her. "And I hate to admit it, but your speech was pretty great."

"Thanks Jade, coming from you that means a lot."

"Whatever."

Beck came over to his wife. "Hey, Babe," he kissed his wife. "Ready to spend the night away from the kids just the two of us?"

"When did you plan on telling me this?" Jade's reaction wasn't as expected.

"I thought I would surprise you?"

"What have I told you about surprising me?"

"Excuse me for trying to rekindle the romantic spark with the woman I love. Sam, do you think that's wrong."

"Please don't involve me," Sam requested.

"He just wants to knock me up again!" Jade accused.

"What?" Beck was shocked.

"The last times he surprised me with these romantic nights I got knocked up!"

"Oh yeah, I kinda forgot."

"So we're not doing anything like that until you get the snip-snip…or else I'll do it for you."

"Okay, okay!" Beck noticed Cat and Robbie. "Robbie, Cat, you guys want to take my reservation at the Parker-Nichols hotel?"

"Whoa, hold on I didn't say that we weren't going!"

Sam shrugged this off and headed for the parking lot. "Sam!" Tori wanted to talk now. "Did you have a nice evening? And the wedding was it good?"

"It was beautiful," Sam complimented.

"It was really nice meeting you."

"Ditto. And maybe sometime we can go to _Rockin' Sushi _together."

"Thank you Sam, I would love that," Tori gave Sam a hug. Tori broke away when something caught her eye. "Hey, your ride's here." Tori left with a smile as Sam turned to see what Tori meant.

Standing in front of his squad car dressed snappy casual was Officer Freddie Benson himself. "How'd it go?"

"Strangely well."

"That's good," there was some silence for a moment. "So I ate your cake."

"You did?"

"Yeah. I had to fight some raccoons off, but I'm pretty strong now so I won. It wasn't much of a contest and…you know what I'm just going to kiss you now." And he did until he heard a buzz from his squad car. "Oh shit, I'm on duty. I should put my uniform on or else people will think I stole a cop car." This made Sam laugh. "Wanna ride?"

"Totally, yeah." She started to go to the passenger side.

"Whoa, what are you doing?"

"I'm getting in the car Fredward."

"No, you gotta get in the back."

"What?"

"It's against regulations, you gotta sit in the back."

"You're gonna make me sit in the back?"

"A-yup, let's go." Sam playfully glared at him as Freddie lowered her into the backseat like she was a criminal. "Sorry, it's a habit."

"It's all good. But can I sit in the front?"

"No," Freddie declined as he got into the car. "Besides, there's a warrant out for your arrest."

"Say what?"

"Yeah. Reckless driving, littering, texting while driving, drinking and driving, indecent exposure-"

"I assumed you of all people would consider me driving topless decent exposure."

"And for that, I'll drop all charges."

"Aw, thanks Fredbag." There was some brief silence. "Can you turn on the siren please?"

"Sure," he did as she requested.

"Yay!"

* * *

><p><strong>And that's where the movie ended. Well, actually it ended with Megan taping her 'sexual encounter' with Air Marshal Jon and a giant sub. Yeah, gross. And no, Lady Antebellum didn't appear in the movie. Lillian's favorite song was <strong>_**Hold On**_** by the band Wilson Phillips and the real Wilson Phillips appeared in the movie. So I thought, what two popular artists could turn **_**(I've Had) The Time of My Life **_**into an awesome cover song (NOT THE BLACK-EYED PEAS' VERSION). Then I realized Lady Antebellum's Hillary and Charles are the two lead singers and they sing their songs as if they were duets, so I chose to use Lady Antebellum to sing Carly's favorite song at her wedding.**

**Some stuff I featured wasn't in the movie, but I hope it's all good.**

**Oh no, one more chapter to go!**


	12. Epilogue: Surprise, Surprise, Surprise

**I was sort of in a creative slump after the untimely passing of a close family friend, and I put off things like fanfiction. I'm still in shock, but I still have an obligation to you readers. I love you all and thanks for reading and reviewing. I made this one a lot longer for your benefit and enjoyment.**

**This one's for you guys and dolls; I really hope you like it.**

* * *

><p>One Year and Ten Months Later<p>

"You're gonna love this!" Freddie was sitting at the computer wide awake around two in the morning and he gestured for a tired Sam to view something at the computer.

"What now?" Sam yawned as she stumbled over to his computer.

"I've finally perfected it. Are you ready for your marriage proposal?"

"I said yes when you asked four months ago," Sam moaned.

"Yeah, but you found out about my intentions through Cat by accident."

"That was the second time. The first time, I asked you to marry me."

"I wanna do it for real this time."

"By using a computer?"

"Don't stifle my creativity." Freddie typed in a few things. "And…" there was an explosion followed by a fire. "…THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!"

Quickly thinking, Sam put out the fire with the blanket from the bed. "Wow, and I thought Spencer usually set things on fire."

"Why am I a failure?"

"Yes," Sam kissed him, "but you're my failure. Get some sleep; you got work and then your Vegas bachelor party tomorrow…well, technically tonight."

"You gals sure you don't wanna come with?"

"I wish, but us gals are gonna have ourselves a bachelorette party slash baby shower tomorrow. Fun," Sam sarcastically said the last part.

"It's not like Carly meant to get pregnant."

"Nope, but it seemed like the perfect time that she did," Freddie gave his fiancée a strange look. "Carly got pregnant around the middle of Jade's second semester-"

"Trimester."

"Who cares? Where was I?"

"Jade's second semester…"

"…and at the start of Melanie's pregnancy and shotgun wedding."

"I'm kinda happy for all of them; a baby's a huge deal. Though I figured Cat and Robbie would be the ones to have a baby."

"They can't."

"Oh," Freddie said that sorta bummed for Cat.

"Robbie's shootin' blanks."

"Oh," that time it was slight disgust. "Didn't need to know that."

"Neither did I, but it made a nice conversation over lunch with the girls that weekend." Sam got back onto the bed. "Come cuddle up with Mama."

"But Sam…"

"YES I'LL MARRY YOU NOW COME TO BED!"

"Okay, okay."

"Our wedding is technically tomorrow, you coulda asked a little sooner." The two of them started laughing

…

The following morning couples spent preparing for their respective parties. At the Oliver house, Beck went past the baby's room to find his older sons dressing the baby in their hand-me-downs. "Boys," the boys turned around in a panic, "what did I tell you about dressing your sister in your old clothes?"

"Mom said it was cool," the oldest son Ben responded.

"Did she?"

"Yeah, but Mom also called me Charlie," Ben (and his brother Charlie) laughed.

Beck went to his bedroom where their youngest son Damien was going through Beck and Jade's dresser and Jade was snoring in a semi-peaceful slumber. "Jade, get up."

"Fuck you, Beck." Damien giggled and repeated his mother's statement.

Beck scooped up his son, dropped him off with the other boys, and went back to his room. "Come on, you gotta go to this."

"Leave me alone!"

"And another thing, I laid out that dress my mother bought for Eden-"

"When she thought Charlie was going to be Charlotte."

"-and I found it in the trash and our oldest sons dressing our daughter in their old clothes."

"Which your mother most likely bought."

"I give up with you! What do I have to do to earn some respect from you?"

"Dude, when did you become the wife? Oh, right, ever since you got fired from your job and I had to be the breadwinner." Jade sat up and sighed. "Look, I'm letting you go with Freddie and those other losers to Vegas for the night and leaving the kids with your bitch of a mother. I'm the one who has to suffer with those girls at this two-party crapfest while you gamble away a shitload of money. Be grateful!" Jade curled back up under the covers.

"You don't have to be such a bitch."

"Yes, I do, now leave."

Meanwhile, Trina was at her recently purchased penthouse hogging the bathroom as Sinjin knocked on the door. "Come on Trina, you've been in there for over an hour, I really gotta pee!"

"You shouldn't have slept over."

"But I'm your husband."

"But you have your own house!"

"I'm scared of the dark! It's a nice comfort knowing there's someone there to chase away the monsters."

"Use the other bathroom!"

"But I also need to shower!"

"Since when?"

"I always shower when I go to a thing with other people…and it's not very often."

"Clearly!"

"How about we shower together?"

"No, Sinjin!"

"Okay!" Before heading off to the other bathroom, Sinjin went back to Trina's bathroom. "And I showered yesterday before Cat and Robbie came over for dinner!"

As this was going on, Robbie and Cat we're both in their apartment bathroom trying to get ready. There was a slight hitch though; Cat was leaning over the toilet vomiting while Robbie retched himself over the sink (as any gentleman would do). "We are never eating Trina's cooking again," Robbie managed to say before another round of upchuck.

Cat lifted her head up. "How does Sinjin stand her food?"

"He must have some immunity." Robbie took some deep breaths. "Okay, I think the nausea's died down. He looked over at his wife who was crying. "Honey, why do you always cry when you vomit?"

"Why do you?" Cat retorted back as she threw up again. "Hold my hair back please."

"Fine," Robbie did as she requested until she lifted her head. "Better?"

"I don't know; my tummy's still bubbly."

"Maybe I should stay home and take care of you."

"No, go have fun with the boys! I wanna go to the party thing today!"

"But if both of us are sick-"

"We'll stop at the dollar store and get those puke buckets just in case. You want to go to Vegas, and I want to hang out with my friends and talk about weddings and babies."

"You do like talking about weddings and babies."

"So do you!"

"Don't judge me," Robbie clutched his stomach and regurgitated into the sink. "We are never eating at Trina's again."

"Next time we go to Tori's."

At Tori's place, Andre came downstairs to find the place decorated in pink hearts and romantic jazz playing. "Is it Valentine's Day already?"

"No, it's our first official anniversary as a couple. We started going out last year exactly," Tori was bubbly.

"And?"

"And I love you."

"And?"

"I love you."

"Again, and?"

"Andre!"

"Woman, I'm tired. I gotta rush off to Vegas and prepare for another show with the band that I hate, but play with so that I get paid."

"Fine."

"Were you trying to get me to propose to you again?"

"Andre!"

"So, that's a yes?"

Tori sighed. "I have never felt love for anyone the way I do for you. This was a double celebration," Tori reached for a piece of paper and happily waved it in front of her. "The divorce is final!"

"And to celebrate your divorce, you want to get married?"

"Oh come on, all those famous people do it! And I really only married Kevin because I felt some pity for him and he was rich. Wow that sounds unbelievably shallow." Andre nodded in agreement. "I just want to marry you Andre."

"Okay then, we'll get married."

"But you have to ask!"

"It's a new millennium; women can do things men usually do."

"Like propose to their girlfriends."

"Or boyfriends if they're not a lady lover."

"But Andre-"

Andre sniffed. "Did you cook breakfast?"

"I thought it would be a nice surprise."

"Something smells burnt."

"Yeah, I sort of burned the meal so I had Francois cook breakfast for me again."

"See, I usually do the cooking like the woman should and you can do the proposin' like the…" Andre noticed the glare Tori was giving him, "…I'll stop now."

"Hurry up and eat though. The limo you rented is ready to take you and pick up the guys so you can go to Vegas."

"You kinda bummed about not going?"

"Of course not; I got to plan one of the most awesome bachelorette parties for my friend, and added in an equally awesome baby shower for another friend. Nothing can go wrong today."

…

Tori had gotten to Carly's place first and put up all the decorations, set up the food, set up two tables for presents as Carly sat on the couch and watched.

"Whoa chill," Carly told her. "It's not a big fancy thing. It's just going to be basically my bridal party. None of the other people talk to you anymore since you and Kevin broke up."

"I know, but people still might drop off presents," Tori finished the setup. "Voila! Whaddya think?"

"I think it's too pink."

"You can never have enough pink."

"I'm having a boy."

"Hence the sign," Tori pointed to the 'It's a Boy' streamer she hung in the living room. "Besides, sonograms can be read wrong sometimes. My parents thought Trina was gonna be a boy."

"Yeah, but you definitely see the…male reproductive organ in my ultrasound picture."

"Carly, it's a penis, call it that."

"Wow, ever since you and Sam became close friends you're acting more and more like her."

"Good or bad?"

"Tolerable." The doorbell rang. "Oh, and the first guest has arrived."

Carly sighed and tried to get off the couch. "I'll get it."

"Oh, no!" Tori sat her down. "Allow me." Tori opened the door and before she could even say hello, Cat ran straight to the bathroom with her mouth covered. "Something tells me she had Trina's cooking." Tori shuddered at the thought of Trina's cooking as she heard something crash outside. "Speak of the devil."

Trina brushed past Tori in a huff. "I am so angry!"

"That's a shock," Carly muttered.

"Does anyone care why I'm angry?"

"No," Tori and Carly answered together.

"I got a call from that movie producer and he said I was never getting that part I wanted! Do you care why?"

"No."

"He says I'm too annoying and they're looking for someone younger!"

"Wait, aren't you twenty-nine?" Tori asked.

"They said the age limit was twenty-eight!"

"Did they?"

"Yeah, but after I was done a thirty year old auditioned and she got the part!"

"She probably had talent," Carly muttered under her breath.

"I am still so angry!" Trina stormed off to the kitchen.

Jade barged in through the front door and plopped herself onto the recliner, putting her feet onto the coffee table. "Alright, let's get this over with."

"THERE IS NO COFFEE!" Trina yelled from the kitchen.

Cat opened the bathroom door and stuck her head out. "Can one of you come look at my vomit? Something doesn't look right."

"Finally, something interesting," Jade stood up and joined Cat in the bathroom.

When Jade slammed the door, streamers started to fall. This caused Tori to gasp. "My streamers!" She ran over to the fallen streamers and tried to put them up.

Carly sighed to herself. "This is going to be a long day."

…

And boy was it. But what made it an even longer day was Sam hadn't shown up yet. "It's been another hour," Tori said when the four hour mark had passed.

"Maybe she's dead," Trina's morbid suggestion made Cat gasp.

"No," Carly objected, "no she's okay, I know she is."

"But why the hell isn't she here?" Jade inquired.

Carly shrugged. "Tori, hand me my phone." Tori did as instructed. "I'm gonna see if Melanie knows something." Carly dialed Melanie's number.

"_Samburg residence, this is Melanie speaking."_

"Melanie, it's Carly."

"_Hi, Doll. How you doing?"_

"Listen, Sam hasn't showed up yet. Have you heard from her?"

"_No, I haven't."_

"Crap."

"_Have you tried getting a hold of her?"_

"A couple of times."

"_Carly, trust me when I say she's okay. I'm her twin, we have this ESPN thing. Try going to her place."_

"What if she's not there?"

"_Come on Carly, you of all people would know where to find your best friend. Listen I gotta go; Andy and I are getting portraits with our twins."_

"Awesome, send me some pics."

"_Will do; bye," Melanie hung up._

Tori took the phone from Carly. "Well?"

"We're gonna have to go find her ourselves."

Cat clapped. "Yay, an adventure!"

…

Sam wasn't at her place. Still, Carly was her best friend and she knew where to find her. So the girls got into Trina's van and they all headed for Seattle. Using her old apartment key, Carly opened the door into her old loft and they took the elevator to the third floor. "Could you let me go in alone?" Carly asked them.

"Go ahead," Tori assured.

Carly took a deep breath and opened the door. Sam was sitting in the old _iCarly_ studio hyperventilating and rocking herself. "Oh Sam," Carly waddled over to her friend.

"What am I doing?" Sam asked. "I'm getting married tomorrow."

"To the man you love and used to dream of marrying…until you broke up. Then when you got back together in Los Angeles you found each other and your dream will come true."

"I can't get married, I just can't! Look at what happened to people who promised to stay married to each other. My parents, Freddie's parents, Tori and Kevin, all those stupid celebrities; no one stays married anymore!" Sam sniffled. "I don't want that kind of thing to happen. I love Freddie too much, and if that happened…it would just kill him."

"What if it doesn't?"

"But what if it does?"

"Try not to think about it. You're just getting cold feet. I had cold feet when I married Griffin and we're happy now."

"Yeah, but you're always happy. I hear you talking about how much you love married life but I hear what Jade and Trina say and-"

"Ignore what other people think. Do you and Freddie love each other?"

"Well yeah, but-"

"Do you want to get married?"

"I don't know."

"No, I want a yes or no answer. Do you, Sam Puckett, want to marry Freddie Benson?"

Sam thought this over. "I do."

"You do?"

"I do."

"Then you'll have no problem saying that tomorrow at the church. Now let's go have us a party back in Los Angeles."

"OH MY GOD CAT!"

After hearing that, Carly and Sam quickly ran out of the room and outside. Cat was unconscious in Jade's arms. "What happened?"

"Cat passed out, but Jade caught her," Tori answered.

"Good, keep her elevated," Sam instructed. "Come on; let's get her to the hospital."

…

While waiting for results on Cat, the women checked their phones in the waiting room. "Great," Trina huffed.

"What now?" Jade growled.

"I got a bunch of calls from my husband. What does that loser want now?"

Jade rolled her eyes and looked at her phone. "I some message from this number," she read the number out loud.

"Hey, I got one from that place too," Carly added.

Sam looked at her phone. "Ditto."

Tori looked at her phone. "Not me. Call that place back."

Jade hit redial and listened. Her eyes widened a few seconds later, "Could you hold on a sec?" She lowered her phone, "it's the Las Vegas Police Department!"

"Police Department?" The women asked in unison.

Jade put the phone back to her ear. "Okay, why did you call me…Yeah, I'm Jade Oliver." Jade listened intently. "Others?" More listening. "Look, we can't do that now; we're in a Seattle hospital…I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! I will give you money to personally escort those dumbasses to St. Schneider's Hospital in Seattle as fast as you can…don't question me just get them over here…and no, I don't care that I swore to you." Jade hung up. "Our dumbass husbands have been arrested."

"Arrested?"

"Sinjin tried to sneak them out, but they threw his ass in there too."

"Wait," Tori began, "what about Andre?"

"They didn't say his name. Try calling him; ask him to get over here."

Sam smiled at Jade. "I'm liking this take charge attitude you got Jade."

"Yeah, you really care about Cat," Carly agreed.

"I like her better than my kids," Jade commentated.

"Wait, why were the other guys arrested?" Trina questioned.

"Well, the losers were drunk- except for Robbie and Sinjin apparently- and Robbie was at the blackjack table on a hot streak. So the pit boss accused him of counting cards and Beck, Freddie, and Griffin- who were wasted- got all 'belligerent', whatever the hell that means, and they started to attack the pit boss and the guards who tried to fight them off."

"And they arrested Robbie?"

"Robbie left the table in a hurry because he was scared and they thought he was guilty of counting cards. When they found him, he vomited."

"Cat's been throwing up on and off again today too," Carly reminded.

Trina groaned. "My cooking isn't that bad!"

"Everything about you is bad," Jade snarked.

"You think there could be something wrong with Cat other than a side-effect of Trina's cooking?" Sam inquired.

"Who can say?" Tori replied. "We're just gonna have to wait and find out."

…

Waiting was a lingering torture for them. But nearly an hour and a half later, a doctor told them Cat was awake and conscious and they had finished running tests on her. When they went to see her, Jade was the first one in her room. "Hey, red."

"Hi!" Cat waved. "I'm wearing a polka dot dress."

The women moved closer to her. "So what happened?" Sam asked her. "Why did you pass out?"

Cat shrugged. "I dunno, I just felt kinda tired and all weak and stuff. The doctor people had to wait for me to wake up so they can do tests and junk. Needles hurt."

"So how ya feelin' now?"

"My tummy kinda hurts, and I'm still getting sick; but that thing that happens every month is happening now?"

"Period?"

"Oh, that too."

Tori (and the others) looked confused. "What did you mean the first time?"

"I visit my friends every month and I always feel icky after visiting Trina's place."

"Oh come on, side effects of my cooking don't last that long!" Trina protested.

"I doubt it's just your cooking that makes her sick," Jade commented.

Cat was about to cry. "I feel all bad now that we can't have a party."

"No, don't be," Carly assured. "You just get some rest and we'll wait here with you until you're discharged."

"Yay, I feel loved!"

The doctor entered the room. "Hello Mrs. Shapiro, I'm Dr. Lori Clark, you can call me Lori." she greeted.

"Hi!"

"Well we ran our usual tests, and we got back some interesting results."

"Ooh, exciting."

"What kind of results?" Jade questioned.

"The tests seem inconclusive, most likely due to human error," Lori scoffed before continuing on, "Damn interns. Plus when going over the ailments Mrs. Shapiro mentioned quite a bit of issues with her stomach and I'd like to perform an ultrasound on her. If you ladies could give me a moment of privacy with the patient."

"Is it serious?" Sam asked.

"I'd like to check for any clots or even tumors in her stomach. So if you wouldn't mind leaving for a minute or two."

"Is it cool if I stay here and get off my feet?" Carly asked Lori. Lori nodded. "Kay, I'll stay here with Cat."

"Yay, I'm loved!" Cat clapped before covering her mouth.

Lori sighed. "I'll get another puke bucket."

Jade, Tori, Sam, and Trina stood outside Cat's room. "Come on, my cooking isn't that bad!" Trina protested.

"It is," Sam and Tori agreed.

"And I never bothered to eat it because I know it's nasty," Jade snarked.

"You're all jerks," Trina commentated.

"'Scuse me," a cop approached them. "Any of yous ladies a Mrs," he pulled out a notecard, "Oliver, Shapiro, Drew, van Cleef, or Puckett?"

"Three out of five ain't bad," this was Sam's way of answering yeah.

"Follow me," the cop lead them to the waiting room where their respected men (and Robbie) were handcuffed and being watched by four other cops.

"Yup, they're ours." They went toward them.

"So…how was your party?" Freddie stammered.

"Not as eventful as yours apparently."

"It's Beck's fault!"

"Ah-ah, no it ain't!" Beck defended. "I just bought us some booze and the first time we drank it nothing happened. We go to gamble, come back to our table, and our drinks taste funny. You can blame Sinjin for that!"

"The old lady told me they were alcohol sweeteners," Sinjin whined when he said this.

"Those things don't exist you idiot!" Griffin yelled.

"Whatever he put in our drinks made us wasted out of our minds," Beck continued on.

"I didn't drink it," Robbie reminded.

"Yeah, and the sweeteners had no effect on me," Sinjin added.

Beck ignored them. "So we pressure Robbie into playing Blackjack for the first time and apparently he's good. So good that the pit boss comes and thinks he's counting cards. Next thing Freddie, Griffin and I knew we were fighting the boss and security."

"But the nerd ran," a cop reminded.

"I told you I had to vomit!" Robbie yelled at him. "My mouth was covered! I was also frightened and I ran, but I really didn't wanna leave my friends like Sinjin."

"I was at the indoor pool when this happened," Sinjin informed.

"You dumbass morons!" Jade snapped at them. "You guys are the biggest idiots ever put on this stupid planet."

"Never leave a drink unattended in Vegas!" Sam added. "Freddie, I told you not to drink, our wedding is tomorrow!"

"Wow, you weren't kidding," a different cop commentated.

"I told them it was!" Freddie admitted. "But these guys still wanna keep us in jail til tomorrow night."

"But our wedding is tomorrow afternoon!" Sam reminded.

"I guess we'll have to reschedule."

"This is the third time we've rescheduled; and all because you wanted to have the perfect proposal!"

"You kept letting me put it off!"

"Oh don't you pin this on me Fredward Benson!" Sam and Freddie were now arguing.

Jade went closer to her husband and slapped him. "This is your fault!"

"My fault?" Beck yelled back. "How is this my fault?"

"EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT!" Now Jade and Beck were fighting.

Robbie looked around. "Tori, Trina, where's Cat and Carly?"

"There might be something wrong with Cat," Tori answered.

"What?"

"But I'm sure she'll be fine and Carly's in there with her in case anything happens."

"You left Carly in a hospital room alone?" Griffin questioned.

"She'll be fine too."

"She hates hospitals!"

"She'll be fine."

"You have no reason to be here, why aren't you in there with her?" Tori and Griffin were now in an altercation.

"Oh shut up!" Robbie snapped. "None of this wouldn't be happening if me and Cat didn't go over to Trina's place and try her nasty cooking!"

"Hey!" Trina protested. Sinjin made one of those noises that Trina took notice of. "What's that noise supposed to mean?"

"I hate to admit it, but your cooking is bad," Sinjin confessed. And that remark started an argument between the final three. For the heck of it, cops were yelling trying to get everyone to calm down.

"Excuse me!" No one seemed to notice a nurse in scrubs was standing there. "Excuse me!" Her voice got slightly louder. "Screw this," she pulled out a whistle and got everyone to stop. "Which one of you is having a baby?"

Everyone looked around confused before Griffin gasped. "It's me! Oh my God, I'm having a baby!"

"GO!" Everyone gestured for him to go.

Griffin followed the nurse in a rush, but quickly turned back. "Can you take off the handcuffs?" A policeman obliged, and Griffin took off again.

"Carly's having the baby today of all days?" Jade lamented.

"I thought she wasn't due for another two weeks," Tori remembered.

"Come on ladies," Sam gestured for the other women to follow her back to where they left Carly. Once they got close to the room, they saw Griffin running out with his mouth covered. "Poor guy must've freaked out."

"I think I'm freaking out too," Trina pointed, "unless that's not a pregnant Carly coming out of the room."

"Carly!" Tori ran over to her. "Why are you walking, shouldn't you be-"

"Guys, I'm fine!" Carly was smiling. "Griffin just caught sight of something he wasn't supposed to and now he's going to be sick." The others looked at her confused. "You don't get it do you?" They shook their heads. "I'm not having a baby…Cat is."

"Cat?"

"Yeah."

"Aha it wasn't my cooking!" Trina celebrated.

"No, it was partly your cooking- Robbie was throwing up too-, but her side effects of your cooking were similar to labor symptoms."

"But Cat's not-"

"No, she totally is. I saw it; the baby was hiding near the back. From the looks of it, it's been in there for nine, maybe ten months. And believe me when I say no one is as shocked as she is. Lori was checking to see how dilated she was when Griffin came in and saw more than he bargained for."

"How could she not have known she was pregnant?" Jade asked.

"I dunno; you gotta watch that old show to find out how. Now I think we should go tell the proud papa." They went back to the waiting room.

"Wow, that was fast," Sinjin noted. "Where's the baby?"

"You idiot, it was a false alarm!" Freddie corrected.

"Hold up, where's Cat?" Beck questioned.

Robbie looked at them. "Where is Cat?"

"Oh, she's still back there room 36B," Sam pointed for Robbie to leave. As he headed over there, they noticed he wasn't handcuffed. "Hey Rob-"

"Cops back in Vegas we're looking over security footage and the footage helped proved my innocence, I'm a free man." He continued in.

"That wasn't what I was gonna tell him, but whatever."

"So what's up with Cat?" Sinjin questioned.

Trina raised an eyebrow to him. "Is that supposed to imply any feelings for Cat?"

Sinjin looked scared. "No, my darling, I love you and only you." This made Trina smile.

"But what is wrong with Cat?" Beck asked.

"It's not important," Jade went over to her husband.

"That usually means it is."

"Oh relax, she's not dying."

Freddie slumped in his seat as Sam went over to him. "I tried so hard to give you the perfect wedding and now…"

"You failed?" Sam finished his sentence.

"Yeah."

"Freddie," Sam knelt to his level. "I love you, and I don't care how we get married."

"You don't?"

"I just want to marry you."

"So will you?"

Sam smiled. "I thought you'd never ask." They laughed for a moment and kissed each other.

Freddie smirked. "I think there's a church in this hospital."

"Freddie Benson, you wanna marry me now?"

"You said you don't care how we got married and obviously we're not getting married tomorrow. Whaddya say; wanna get hitched?"

Sam turned to the crowd gathered around. "I say let's have ourselves a wedding!"

"Hallelujah!" Freddie and Sam walked hand to wrist (he was still handcuffed mind you) to the front desk. "Where's the hospital church?" The bored receptionist handed them a hospital map. "Thanks, and if anyone comes looking for us, tell them where to find us."

Before anyone could find them, they hand to find the hospital church. Usually a place for praying and mourning the dead, somber people were surprised to find a bunch of positive people barge in for a wedding. Still, the more witnesses the better.

"Well," the minister looked around, "I don't usually perform weddings, but if you insist," he cleared his throat. "We are gathered here today to join-"

"Freddie."

"-and-"

"Sam."

"-in the bonds of Holy Matrimony."

"Can you make the bonds short?" Sam questioned.

"Alright. Freddie, do you?"

"I do," Freddie answered back.

"Sam, do you?"

"I do," Sam responded.

"I now pronounce you both husband and wife; kiss the bride."

And Freddie and Sam kissed each other as everyone in the church (even the sad people) applauded. They continued to kiss until beeping noises went off. "Hey, we gotta get back to the precinct," the lead cop informed. "Come on guys, let's go." They gathered up Freddie, Beck, Sinjin, and re-handcuffed Griffin and prepared to take them back to jail for the night. "Um…say goodbye to your wives if you want." So Freddie, Beck, and Griffin kissed their wives goodbye. Trina on the other hand refused to kiss Sinjin with his onion breath, so a cheek kissed sufficed.

Tori sighed. "It sucks that a nice wedding has to go to waste tomorrow."

"Does it?" A voice in the shadows startled them. Andre stepped into the light.

"When did you get here Andre?"

"Does it matter?"

"Kind of yeah. We've been here for hours and we had no idea you…" Andre got down on one knee, "…what are you doing?"

"Tori Vega, will you marry me?"

Tori was tearing up. "Really?" Andre nodded. "Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!" She kissed her fiancée.

"Didn't she just get divorced?" Jade whispered to Carly.

"Yeah, but why let all that food and junk go to waste?" Carly asked back. "If they want a wedding tomorrow afternoon, they'll get a wedding tomorrow afternoon."

"Yeah, and we can be official bridesmaids again," Trina smiled.

"You were sort of bridesmaids today."

"But not official; we wore jeans!"

"I didn't."

"Who cares, I actually liked Sam's wedding," Jade commentated.

"Thanks, Jade," Sam thanked.

"Don't get used to it."

…

As if one wedding wasn't enough, now there was another. Standing at the altar aside Tori was Trina, Jade, Carly, and Maid of Honor Sam (she won the title in Rock Paper Scissors) as Tori and Andre got married.

The girls kept close to each other at the reception. "Hey," Sam began, "have any of you talked to Cat since last night?"

"I talked to her loser husband," Jade answered.

"And?"

"Mother and baby are doing good, and they're all one big happy family." Jade rolled her eyes at the last part of that statement, "I'd like to see how long that lasts."

Sam was impatient. "Boy or girl?"

"Oh right; girl." The other celebrated this. "BFD."

"Details! Details!" Carly wanted Jade to continue.

"Like what?"

"Like did they give it a name?" Trina asked.

"Dunno, but it'll probably be something Jewish or end in the letter 'A', or both- what do I care?"

"How much did it weigh?" Carly inquired.

"Why care about that? And Robbie didn't tell me that, but he did say the baby was born at eight sixteen this morning."

"When did we get Cat to the hospital?"

"Around five thirty, maybe six. Don't remember, don't care.

"People don't think well when they don't get enough sleep."

The bride ran over to the bridal party. "I am officially a rock star's wife! Andre's band got signed to a label and the band can bring their wives on tour."

"I knew there was a reason he was marrying you so fast!" Trina deduced.

"You and Sinjin got married after a month of dating."

"I wanted a wedding on my birthday. Double presents, hello."

"Still," Sam spoke up, "it was a wedding; and you can never go wrong at a wedding."

Jade scoffed. "Yes, you can."

"Since when do you like weddings?" Carly asked.

Sam smirked. "Since I met all you bridesmaids."

* * *

><p><strong>And it's done. Wow, this was so hard to end it; I really didn't know how. And sorry it's up late, but I have insomnia and nothing to do til tomorrow night so I figured, here's a treat for you guys. And the epilogue is subtitled with 3 surprises because I thought those might take you by surprise. Let's hope so, I love a good twist and I hope my twists were good.<strong>

**Real life references included the TLC show **_**I Didn't Know I was Pregnant**_** (it's a real show, I watched it because I seriously wondered how could a woman not know- if you're interested, check it out). I also paid tribute to my late friend Lori- may she rest in peace. If you catch any other references, good for you.**

**And with that, I conclude this story. Peace out!**


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